politics

Tom Cruise Announces He Will Be Running in 2020

LOS ANGELES — Tom Cruise released a statement today, after much speculation, confirming he would be running in the year…

5 years ago

Division 2 Beta Lets Players Explore Utopian Vision of Washington D.C.

After months of previews, Ubisoft finally lifted the curtain on Tom Clancy’s The Division 2 through a weekend beta test…

5 years ago

Republicans Try to Appeal to Younger Voters by Releasing State of the Union on YouTube

WASHINGTON — Republican strategists have announced they will upload the entirety of Donald Trump’s State of the Union address onto…

5 years ago

Democrats in Disarray After President Trump Tweets That US Constitution Isn’t Canon

WASHINGTON — The newly-emboldened Democratic Party is in disarray today after President Trump announced on social media that the United…

5 years ago

Mueller Just Going to Grind Few More Levels Before Final Boss Fight

WASHINGTON — Robert Mueller, former FBI director and current head of the Special Counsel Investigation into Russian meddling in the…

5 years ago

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Announces She’s Waiting for Red Dead Redemption 2 to Go On Sale to Thunderous Applause

NEW YORK — Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez joined a rally with the New York City chapter of the DSA today and…

5 years ago

Opinion: It’s Time for Gamer President

Our country is in political turmoil as we look to our leaders and see no one who will rise up…

5 years ago

Weeb Orders Sixth 23andMe in Desperate Search for Marginal Japanese Heritage

LOS ANGELES — Local Caucasian anime fan Martin O’Rourke ordered his sixth 23andMe in an attempt to prove that he…

6 years ago

NBA Jam’s Bill Clinton to Campaign for Beto O’Rourke

DALLAS — As the Senate race in Texas reaches a fever pitch, sources are reporting that Democratic candidate Beto O’Rourke…

6 years ago