February 26, 2019 Hardass Professor Won’t Allow Students to Cite Bulbapedia Hardass Professor Won’t Allow Students to Cite Bulbapedia PALLET TOWN, Kanto — World famous Pokémon researcher Professor Samuel Oak has enraged students by not letting them use Bulbapedia for their final exam. “Yet…
February 13, 2019 Farfetch’d Unsure How Much Longer He Can Convince People He’s a Pokemon and Not Just a Duck Holding a Leek Farfetch’d Unsure How Much Longer He Can Convince People He’s a Pokemon and Not Just a Duck Holding a Leek TALL GRASS, RT 39 — Farfetch’d confided to reporters this week that he is unsure how much longer he can hide the fact he is…
February 1, 2019 Ice Puzzle Warning in Effect for Chicago Region Ice Puzzle Warning in Effect for Chicago Region CHICAGO — An Ice Puzzle Warning has been issued for residents in the Chicago region, with authorities advising residents to stay indoors lest they be…
November 16, 2018 Opinion: Magikarp Helped Me Accept Being Useless Until My Twenties Opinion: Magikarp Helped Me Accept Being Useless Until My Twenties Like most millennials, the past few years have been rough for me. I had no money, no job, and still lived with my parents. Every…
May 6, 2018 Photographer Wins Pulitzer Prize After Getting Pikachu to Ride Surfboard Photographer Wins Pulitzer Prize After Getting Pikachu to Ride Surfboard POKÉMON ISLAND — Aspiring young photographer Todd Snap won the Pulitzer prize in feature photography after luring a wild Pikachu to a surfboard earlier this…
April 22, 2018 Donald Trump Reveals Presidency Actually Nuzlocke Run Donald Trump Reveals Presidency Actually Nuzlocke Run WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump revealed via a series of tweets this morning that his presidency has been following the rules of the Pokémon Nuzlocke…
April 11, 2018 Niantic Adds 23 New Players to Pokémon Go Niantic Adds 23 New Players to Pokémon Go SAN FRANCISCO — In a move sure to delight longtime fans of the mobile game, Niantic announced that it would be adding twenty-three new players…
February 25, 2018 Criminal Mastermind Doesn’t Trade Gengar Back After Evolving Him Criminal Mastermind Doesn’t Trade Gengar Back After Evolving Him TULSA, Okla. — 11-year-old Ella May Williams pulled off the “heist of the school year” late last week, sources allege, after acquiring a Gengar in…
February 19, 2018 Report: Current Generation of Pokémon First to be Financially Worse-Off Than Previous Generations Report: Current Generation of Pokémon First to be Financially Worse-Off Than Previous Generations HAU’OLI CITY, Melemele Island — A new report from the Pew Research Center states that today’s seventh generation of Pokémon are the first to be…
