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Report: Current Generation of Pokémon First to be Financially Worse-Off Than Previous Generations


millennials, pokemon

HAU’OLI CITY, Melemele Island — A new report from the Pew Research Center states that today’s seventh generation of Pokémon are the first to be financially worse-off than previous ones.

The report lists a number of contributing factors to the downfall, the largest is rising medical costs.

“In Generation 1’s time, you could count on a potion to only cost 100 Pokémon Dollars,” said Michael Dimock, president of Pew Research Center. “But Generation VII can expect to pay upwards of 300 Pokémon Dollars per potion. Generation I could get a super potion for that price.”

With such high costs more and more Gen VIIs are forced to endure long wait times at their local Pokémon Centers, cutting into their ability to grind for experience.

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“Back in the 90’s,” Dimock told reporters, “winning a battle against a Black Belt would earn a base rate of 25 Pokémon dollars. Now, the base rate is 32 Pokémon Dollars, which sounds like more but doesn’t come close to covering inflation. Simply put: Gen VII and their trainers are working harder than previous cohorts but have significantly less buying power.”

Not everyone is convinced by the report, however.

“Squirtle squirtle squirtle squirtle squirtle; squirtle squirtle squirtle squirtle,” said a local Squirtle, when asked to comment. “Squirtle squirtle squirtle.”

“Squirtle squirtle,” he added after pausing to think for a moment, contemplating the state of his crumbling society. “Squirtle.”

Article by Patrick Susmilch @psusmilch

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