pathfinder

Asshole D&D Player Can’t Make Session Because ‘Their Parents Died’

MIDDLETON, Wis. — Local dipshit and occasional tabletop gamer Christian Taylor has cancelled on his supposedly regular Dungeons and Dragons…

3 years ago

Dog Wastes Only Inventory Slot on Frisbee

SEATTLE — Adorable old english sheepdog and total noob, Pancakes, blew the only slot in his extremely limited inventory on…

4 years ago

Loser Spends Three Years Earning Master’s Degree When He Could’ve Been Writing Sick D&D Campaign

RALEIGH, N.C. — A local graduate’s Masters of Fine Arts degree was tainted by the realization the past three years…

4 years ago

Dungeon Master Sneaks Few Real Dice in With Those Sex Ones

PITTSBURGH — A recent attempt at invigorating the intimacy of Dana Boyer’s relationship with an avid role-playing fanatic ended horribly…

4 years ago

D&D Party Prepares for Yet Another Battle With How Much Their DM Sucks

BOULDER, Colo. —  A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons faced yet another encounter with the most difficult recurring…

4 years ago

Dungeon Master Increases Puzzle’s Difficulty by Describing It Shittily

SILVERTON, Ore. — In a groundbreaking move to combat his players’ adeptness at solving riddles and subverting challenges, local dungeon…

4 years ago

D&D Party Plans Intervention for Character’s Item Hoarding

GREENE, N.Y. — A local Dungeons and Dragons group recently completed a three hour session that was secretly planned as…

4 years ago

Wizard Casts ‘Mage Hand’ So It Feels Like Someone Else is Doing It

CHICAGO — Local level 2 Half-Elf wizard Stedd Tallstag recently casted ‘Mage Hand’ so it felt like somebody else was…

5 years ago

Dungeon Master Sets Up 8-Week Long Scenario for Single Pun

SEATTLE — A group of Dungeons and Dragons players were horrified to discover that the campaign they had been playing…

5 years ago