June 26, 2020 Nancy Pelosi Plays Single Match as Doomfist in Honor of Black Lives Matter Nancy Pelosi Plays Single Match as Doomfist in Honor of Black Lives Matter WASHINGTON — Nancy Pelosi played a match of Overwatch as the black character Doomfist earlier this morning to celebrate Black Lives Matter. “Black Live Matters…
June 17, 2020 Following Patch, Overwatch Cereal Now Part of a Well-Balanced Breakfast Following Patch, Overwatch Cereal Now Part of a Well-Balanced Breakfast BATTLE CREEK, Mich. — Following criticism of the Overwatch themed breakfast cereal’s initial release, Kellogg’s announced that their Lucio Oh’s cereal has received a massive…
May 23, 2020 Can You Violate the Geneva Conventions in Untitled Goose Game, Portal 2, and Pokemon Go? Can You Violate the Geneva Conventions in Untitled Goose Game, Portal 2, and Pokemon Go? Here’s a tip: never read about the war crimes allied troops committed in World War 2. Trust me, it’s a long, depressing rabbit hole that…
May 2, 2020 Historically Shit-Sucking Gamer Swears ‘Valorant’ Is Going to Be Different Historically Shit-Sucking Gamer Swears ‘Valorant’ Is Going to Be Different GREENSBORO, N.C. — Local gamer Harry Olsen, who has sucked shit at every single video game he has ever played, swears he is going to…
April 17, 2019 We Just Sponsored an Overwatch Team! Or Gave a Bunch of Random Teens $5,000 We Just Sponsored an Overwatch Team! Or Gave a Bunch of Random Teens $5,000 Hard Drive is excited to share some huge news: we have become part owners of an Overwatch League eSports team! At least, we think we…
March 12, 2019 USC’s Overwatch Team Made Up Entirely of Useless Children of Celebrities USC’s Overwatch Team Made Up Entirely of Useless Children of Celebrities LOS ANGELES — It has come to light that USC’s Overwatch team is made up entirely of the children of celebrities following the bombshell revelation…
February 12, 2019 Blizzard Gives Employees Box With 8.3% Chance of Containing Pink Slip Blizzard Gives Employees Box With 8.3% Chance of Containing Pink Slip IRVINE, Calif. — After a recent earnings report announced record revenue, Activision-Blizzard initiated layoffs by handing out boxes to its 9,600 employees that had 8.3%…
October 13, 2018 Woman Buys Game Just to Understand Memes Woman Buys Game Just to Understand Memes AUSTIN, Texas — Local gamer Christine McNamara bought a full-price $60 version of popular video game Overwatch today solely to understand the constant Overwatch-related memes…
September 9, 2018 Quiz: How The Fuck Did That Hit Me!? Quiz: How The Fuck Did That Hit Me!? God-fucking-dammit. Here I am playing Overwatch and trying to carry my dumbass team to victory. Or at least I would be if I didn’t keep…
