June 26, 2021 Opinion: I Think Batman Does Eat Pussy and He’s Really Fucking Good At It Opinion: I Think Batman Does Eat Pussy and He’s Really Fucking Good At It I’m not normally vocal about the public affairs of Gotham. My place is the private sector and I’m just a random businessman. While I don’t…
January 10, 2021 Opinion: We Must Redistribute the Banana Wealth in This Donkey Kong Country Opinion: We Must Redistribute the Banana Wealth in This Donkey Kong Country Fellow citizens, let me ask you a question: how many bananas do you have in your possession right now? Do you feel that you have…
November 7, 2020 Editorial: If You Think About It, All This Is Like Video Games, Really Editorial: If You Think About It, All This Is Like Video Games, Really There are a lot of crazy things going on in the world these days. Biden has defeated Trump in the 2020 presidential election, there’s a…
October 8, 2020 Opinion: It Is Literally Impossible for Me to Be the Impostor Opinion: It Is Literally Impossible for Me to Be the Impostor Okay, first off, I don’t even know why we’re having this Emergency Meeting. Don’t get me wrong, Yellow’s death is a tragedy, and we’re all…
August 30, 2020 Review: Microsoft Flight Simulator Is So Realistic My Son Is Still Dead In It Review: Microsoft Flight Simulator Is So Realistic My Son Is Still Dead In It Microsoft Flight Simulator is a masterpiece in realism, from the perfectly tuned flying instruments to the fact that my son Trevor, who tragically passed away…
July 12, 2020 Opinion: Video Games are for Children. If You’re an Adult, You Should Stare at a Wall Until You Fucking Die Opinion: Video Games are for Children. If You’re an Adult, You Should Stare at a Wall Until You Fucking Die Listen, here’s the deal: there is absolutely nothing wrong with liking video games if you’re a child, but that needs to be the limit. The…
June 15, 2020 We Apologize For Publishing Darkseid’s Anti-Life Equation We Apologize For Publishing Darkseid’s Anti-Life Equation We hear you. This is a fragile point in history, where every voice matters. Particularly when those voices are screaming in pain from the anti-life…
April 29, 2020 Opinion: If You’re a Supervillain, Cut It Out Opinion: If You’re a Supervillain, Cut It Out Supervillains — those with great power who use it for nefarious purposes — need a stern talking to. It’s time to stop. Your villainy has…
April 16, 2020 Opinion: You’re a Fucking Moron If You Really Believe the Xbox Series X Will Be Big Enough to Hold 6 Teraflops Opinion: You’re a Fucking Moron If You Really Believe the Xbox Series X Will Be Big Enough to Hold 6 Teraflops Don’t let yourself get suckered by all that fancy talk Microsoft is blowing up your ass. There’s just no way the Xbox Series X could…
