September 7, 2020 Metacritic to Allow Users to Type in Exactly the Review Score They Want to See Metacritic to Allow Users to Type in Exactly the Review Score They Want to See SANTA MONICA, Calif. — As part of its latest anti-review bombing measures, review aggregator Metacritic replaced both its Metascore and User Score with a text…
August 29, 2020 Local Police Forced to Stop Supernatural Evil Plaguing Town After Neighborhood Kids Fail Local Police Forced to Stop Supernatural Evil Plaguing Town After Neighborhood Kids Fail PAXTON, Mass. — The failure of a precocious gang of tween misfits to vanquish a cosmic evil known as Hy’groth and their resulting slaughter has…
July 18, 2020 Movie Trailer Editor Struggling to Create Menacing Rendition of ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’ Movie Trailer Editor Struggling to Create Menacing Rendition of ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’ HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — An editor tasked with creating a creepy horror movie trailer is having trouble figuring out how to make “Mary Had A Little…
July 9, 2020 Documentary About Rise and Fall of Quibi to Be About Ten Minutes Long Documentary About Rise and Fall of Quibi to Be About Ten Minutes Long LOS ANGELES — Losing Stream, a new documentary chronicling the rapid rise and fall of subscription streaming service Quibi, reportedly tells the entire story of…
July 4, 2020 AMC Theaters to Reopen Long Enough to Show Half of Tenet AMC Theaters to Reopen Long Enough to Show Half of Tenet KANSAS CITY, Mo. — AMC has announced a tentative plan to reopen most of its theaters nationwide long enough to screen the first half of…
June 27, 2020 Fearful Rick Moranis Unable to Back Out of Contract That Allows Disney to Really Shrink Him Fearful Rick Moranis Unable to Back Out of Contract That Allows Disney to Really Shrink Him LOS ANGELES — In a twist that has put his return to movies into troubling context, beloved 80’s and 90’s film star Rick Moranis has…
June 9, 2020 Red Letter Media Accidentally Posts Four-Hour Video Lambasting ‘Black Widow’ Six Months Prior to Film’s Release Red Letter Media Accidentally Posts Four-Hour Video Lambasting ‘Black Widow’ Six Months Prior to Film’s Release MILWAUKEE, Wis. — In what is being seen as a huge gaffe, popular YouTube channel Red Letter Media accidentally uploaded its harsh critique of the…
May 15, 2020 Diabetic Who Can’t Afford Insulin Feels Kind of Like Jason Statham From ‘Crank’ Diabetic Who Can’t Afford Insulin Feels Kind of Like Jason Statham From ‘Crank’ LOS ANGELES — After finding out he can’t afford next month’s supply of insulin, local indie cartoonist Thomas Makhoul reported feeling like Jason Statham’s character…
April 27, 2020 Tom Hooper Suggests Re-Releasing ‘Cats’ After Shutdown Because It Seems Like Everyone Was Busy When It Came Out or Something Tom Hooper Suggests Re-Releasing ‘Cats’ After Shutdown Because It Seems Like Everyone Was Busy When It Came Out or Something LOS ANGELES — Cats director Tom Hooper suggested on social media today that theaters could re-release Cats once the quarantine ends because people seemingly missed…
