May 20, 2021 ‘Metroid’ Remaster Forces Players to Play as Male Samus Unless They Purchase $25 Female Samus Amiibo ‘Metroid’ Remaster Forces Players to Play as Male Samus Unless They Purchase $25 Female Samus Amiibo KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced a surprise HD remaster of the original Metroid today in which you have to play as a male Samus unless…
April 2, 2021 Embarrassed Ridley Assures Smash Player He’s Much Bigger Canonically Embarrassed Ridley Assures Smash Player He’s Much Bigger Canonically SCHENECTADY, N.Y. — Dragon-like space pirate and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate fighter Ridley assured a teary-eyed man controlling his moves at a local tournament today…
May 14, 2020 Samus Can’t Wait to Show Double Jump Off At High School Reunion Samus Can’t Wait to Show Double Jump Off At High School Reunion DULUTH, Minn. — A recent invitation to her 20 year high school reunion has Samus Aran, graduate of Howard Olson High School and star of…
January 25, 2019 Kensuke Tanabe Backtracking Through Nintendo Offices to Find Key That Lets Him Continue Metroid Prime 4 Development Kensuke Tanabe Backtracking Through Nintendo Offices to Find Key That Lets Him Continue Metroid Prime 4 Development KYOTO, Japan — The development of Metroid Prime 4 has reportedly stalled after series producer Kensuke Tanabe discovered he was missing an important key that…
December 21, 2018 Broke Gamer Considers Himself Retro Gamer Broke Gamer Considers Himself Retro Gamer SEATTLE — Finding himself continuously unable to afford modern consoles, Blake Sherman reportedly insists that he simply has an affinity for games produced before he…
October 3, 2018 Nintendo Announces Metroid Prime 4 Teaser Trailer Release Date Reveal Date Nintendo Announces Metroid Prime 4 Teaser Trailer Release Date Reveal Date KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has announced that early next year they will reveal the date for the Metroid Prime 4 teaser trailer. Since its debut…
September 2, 2018 Time Traveler From 1994 Unimpressed by Today’s Indie Games Time Traveler From 1994 Unimpressed by Today’s Indie Games SEATTLE — A time traveler from 1994 has awoken to a world altered by 24 years of technological, social, and cultural change, but was reportedly…
April 9, 2018 Trailblazing Indie Studio Draws No Influence From Metroid Trailblazing Indie Studio Draws No Influence From Metroid LOS ANGELES — Upstart developers Tenth Wonder Games have turned a lot of heads with their debut independent release, a 2D action game that features…
