May 13, 2021 Earth 616 Residents Wary of New Vaccine Developed by Team of Brilliant Scientists Earth 616 Residents Wary of New Vaccine Developed by Team of Brilliant Scientists NEW YORK — Residents of Earth 616’s New York City are reportedly wary of a new COVID-19 vaccine that was created by the top scientists…
April 23, 2021 Magneto’s Credit Cards All Fucked Up Magneto’s Credit Cards All Fucked Up GENOSHA — Brotherhood of Mutants leader Magneto has vowed revenge on humanity for designing credit cards that are destroyed by magnets, making it impossible for…
April 3, 2021 20 Things in WandaVision That Could’ve Been Mephisto 20 Things in WandaVision That Could’ve Been Mephisto One of the most popular theories about WandaVision was that it was all being controlled by Mephisto, an extra-dimensional being who basically serves as Marvel’s…
March 24, 2021 Professor X Unsure What to Do With Mutant Whose Only Power Is Knowing When a Bob Seger Song Is Playing on Any Classic Rock Radio Station in America Professor X Unsure What to Do With Mutant Whose Only Power Is Knowing When a Bob Seger Song Is Playing on Any Classic Rock Radio Station in America NORTH SALEM, N.Y. — Professor Charles Xavier, headmaster at Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, is reportedly at a loss as to how to utilize…
March 20, 2021 Disney Announces Next Marvel Show ‘Mantis, Talos, & Whoever’s Free to Film Next Tuesday’ Disney Announces Next Marvel Show ‘Mantis, Talos, & Whoever’s Free to Film Next Tuesday’ BURBANK, Calif. — Disney has announced Mantis, Talos, & Whoever’s Free To Film Next Tuesday, a new Marvel show that will stream on Disney+ and…
January 4, 2021 Tony Stark Steps Down as Avenger After Name Found in Epstein Flight Logs Tony Stark Steps Down as Avenger After Name Found in Epstein Flight Logs NEW YORK — Tony Stark, the tech mogul and hero behind the guise of Iron Man, has reportedly stepped down from the Avengers team voluntarily…
November 28, 2020 Disney to Put Jon Favreau in the Vault for a While Disney to Put Jon Favreau in the Vault for a While BURBANK, Calif. — Following the success of his entries into the Marvel, Disney, and Star Wars universes, Disney has announced plans to put influential writer/director/producer…
November 21, 2020 “With Great Power, Comes No Responsibility,” Cop Tells Spider-Man “With Great Power, Comes No Responsibility,” Cop Tells Spider-Man NEW YORK — New York police officer David Whitehead pulled Spider-Man aside today after teaming up to beat up a group of low-level drug dealers…
November 20, 2020 MCU Stars Unite to Defend That Song Jeremy Renner Put Out Last Year MCU Stars Unite to Defend That Song Jeremy Renner Put Out Last Year LOS ANGELES — A few weeks after uniting to defend costar Chris Pratt’s controversial religious and political affiliations, the stars of the Marvel Cinematic Universe…
