magic: the gathering

Former Cards Against Humanity Writer Keeps Pitching ‘Cum Goblin’ to Wizards of the Coast

RENTON, Wash. — Former Cards Against Humanity writer Marc Weaver has reportedly frustrated his new coworkers at Magic: the Gathering…

4 years ago

Wizards of the Coast Change ‘Magic: The Gathering’ to Just ‘Magic’ to Encourage Social Distancing

RENTON, Wash. — As the COVID-19 pandemic sweeps the nation, a spokesman for Wizards of the Coast announced today that…

5 years ago

Terrified ‘Hearthstone’ Escapee Not Convinced ‘Slay the Spire’ Won’t Eventually Charge Him $40 for New Cards

ARLINGTON, Texas — Local Hearthstone refugee and Slay the Spire player Jon Burke reportedly can’t shake the feeling that the…

5 years ago

Magic Player Has Disgusting Pack-a-Day Habit

BEAVERTON, Ore. — Friends and family of Magic: The Gathering enthusiast Gabe Roberts have said that the once-casual player has…

5 years ago

‘Magic: the Gathering’ Player Confident Opponent Isn’t Ready for New Deck’s Secret Weapon

NEW YORK — Local Magic: the Gathering player George Plott told friends that he possesses a new deck with a…

5 years ago

Thousands Dead After Rocky Mountains Tapped for One Red Mana

CHEYENNE, Wyo. — Tragedy struck North America when a planeswalker tapped the Rocky Mountains for one red mana, killing tens…

5 years ago

‘Magic: The Gathering’ Anime to Be 12 Episodes of Nobody Having Enough Lands to Do Anything

LOS ANGELES — Following the announcement of a new Magic: The Gathering animated series to release on Netflix, directors Joe…

5 years ago

Father Briefly Proud When Son Tells Him He’s Getting Into Deck Building

INVERNESS, Colo. —  Feelings of pride and unity briefly filled the home of the Grantham family yesterday, following a misunderstanding…

6 years ago

White Guy Doesn’t Have Enough Mana to Play Race Card

CHICAGO — Local nerd Chris Patson found himself in a tight spot this morning during a political argument with his…

6 years ago