January 10, 2021 No One at Mario’s High School Reunion Sure What He’s Talking About No One at Mario’s High School Reunion Sure What He’s Talking About GREAT NECK, N.Y. — Plumber, adventurer, and class of 1985 graduate Mario Mario reportedly confused the majority of his graduating class as he told old…
August 3, 2020 Guy Who Peaked During Tutorial Never Moves Out of Pallet Town Guy Who Peaked During Tutorial Never Moves Out of Pallet Town KANTO — Local would-be Pokémon trainer Bobby, despite completing his initial training, receiving a Pokédex, and being fully prepared to battle across the Kanto region…
May 14, 2020 Samus Can’t Wait to Show Double Jump Off At High School Reunion Samus Can’t Wait to Show Double Jump Off At High School Reunion DULUTH, Minn. — A recent invitation to her 20 year high school reunion has Samus Aran, graduate of Howard Olson High School and star of…
September 18, 2018 High School Student Begins New Game Plus of Senior Year High School Student Begins New Game Plus of Senior Year HAMILTON, Ohio — After choosing the “bad grades” story route during his initial playthrough of senior year, Tommy Martin has began a New Game Plus…
September 22, 2017 Cards Against Humanity Shoves Magic: The Gathering Into Locker Cards Against Humanity Shoves Magic: The Gathering Into Locker HIGHLAND PARK, Ill.— Highland Park High School was rocked today by an appalling act of violence when Cards Against Humanity shoved Magic: The Gathering into…
June 14, 2017 High School Girlfriend Announces No Plans to Port Relationship to College High School Girlfriend Announces No Plans to Port Relationship to College LOS ANGELES — Graduating high school senior Cheryl Dowd announced she has no plans to port what has so far been a successful relationship with…
