grand theft auto

New GTA “Israel Mode” Gives Civilians Little Pocket Knife so You Feel Better About Going on Murderous Rampage

NEW YORK — Grand Theft Auto 5 is getting a new Israel-themed game mode that gives tiny pocket knives to…

3 years ago

Teen Inspired to Reenact Video Game Violence in Real Life Can’t Get Seed Funding to Build Roller Coaster

BOISE, Idaho — Troubled sophomore Blaise Porter’s plans for mass vengeance have been slowly dashed by the tough business realities…

3 years ago

Police Department Assigns Peaceful Protestors Automatic Five-Star Wanted Level

LOS SANTOS, Calif. — In a move that local activists decried as the latest example of carceral state overreach, the…

4 years ago

If We Defund the Police, Whose Goddamn Helicopters Am I Going to Steal?

Hey you ugly motherfuckers! I’ve been watching your pissy little protests and I have just one little bitty question for…

4 years ago

Julian Assange Enters U.S. and Immediately Gets 6-Star Wanted Level

WASHINGTON — Founder of WikiLeaks Julian Assange immediately received a 6-star ‘wanted’ level after crossing the United States border, drawing…

5 years ago

Rockstar Games Posts Hastily Drawn 6 on Twitter to Distract People From Latest Controversy

NEW YORK — Hours after a new controversy about Rockstar Games became public knowledge, the video game company posted a…

5 years ago

Humble Bundle Announces ‘Pretty Much Grand Theft Auto’ Collection

SAN FRANCISCO  —  Popular digital storefront Humble Bundle has revealed it’s latest collection of cultivated games available at a discounted…

6 years ago

Cuphead’s ‘Hot Coffee’ Mod Lets You Fuck the Cups

REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft apologized after fans discovered secret files that allows access to a hidden mode within Cuphead that…

6 years ago

Grand Theft Auto VI to Feature Rideshare Conversation Avoidance Mini-Game

NEW YORK — Rockstar Games has announced that the newest installment in its flagship Grand Theft Auto series will feature…

6 years ago