george rr martin

Man Rereading ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ to Prepare for Release of Book 6 Worried His One-Page-a-Day Pace Too Fast

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local fantasy fan Geoffrey Parsons is reportedly worried that his A Song of Ice and Fire reread,…

3 years ago

Local Wedding Linked to 3,500 Deaths

WESTEROS — Following an exhaustive contact tracing study, a recent Riverlands wedding has been linked to 3,500 deaths, sources report.…

4 years ago

Stephen King Bangs Out ‘The Winds of Winter’ on Tuesday for Shits and Giggles

BANGOR, Maine —  Prolific horror writer Stephen King reportedly penned the long-anticipated sixth book in George R. R. Martin’s A…

5 years ago

Campaign Finishes Three-Year Run Without DM

BELFAST, Ireland – Players of a local fantasy role-playing game expressed relief and exhaustion today after completing their campaign, ending…

6 years ago

Opinion: Listen Up Fuckfaces, I’ll Write Whenever The Goddamn Fuck I Want To

Listen up, you pathetic little nerdy fucklits: my name is George Raymond Richard Martin, and I’ll write whenever and whatever…

7 years ago

George RR Martin Under Fire After Speech in Front of Banner That Reads “Series Accomplished”

SANTA FE, N.M. — “A Song of Ice and Fire” author George RR Martin is being attacked online by fans…

7 years ago

Valve Hires George R.R. Martin to Begin Writing Half-Life 3

SANTE FE, N.M. — A Song of Fire and Ice writer George R.R. Martin was hired by Valve today to…

7 years ago

Read George RR Martin’s Beautiful 800-Page Apology for the Sixth ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ Book Delay

Get excited for some brand new A Song of Ice and Fire content! George RR Martin might not have released…

7 years ago

Game of Thrones Show Now Ahead of Local Man’s Masturbation Fantasies

OAK HILL, Tenn. — Hit TV show Game Of Thrones will officially surpass the plot of Nashville-area resident Drew Cale’s nightly…

7 years ago