February 2, 2021 Steam Announces Oddly Specific ‘Games You and Molly Used to Play Before You Broke Up’ Sale Steam Announces Oddly Specific ‘Games You and Molly Used to Play Before You Broke Up’ Sale BELLEVUE, Wash. — Online video game retailer Steam has announced an eerily particular sale, seemingly curated exclusively around games you used to play with Molly…
December 1, 2020 5 Switch Games You Need to Play Before You Die, Which Will Be Soon! 5 Switch Games You Need to Play Before You Die, Which Will Be Soon! The Nintendo Switch has been around for a few years now, but you only have so much time in your life to play all of…
September 25, 2020 Nintendo Direct Leaves Gamer Excited About 14 Games He Won’t Buy When They Come Out Nintendo Direct Leaves Gamer Excited About 14 Games He Won’t Buy When They Come Out TUCSON, Ariz. — A recent installment of Nintendo’s Direct series of videos showcasing upcoming software coming to their platform has one gamer particularly elated about…
July 28, 2020 Coming Soon: More Video Games and You Like It, Don’t You? You Sick Fuck Coming Soon: More Video Games and You Like It, Don’t You? You Sick Fuck Between the Xbox Games Showcase, Sony’s “Future of Gaming” event, and the upcoming release of Cyberpunk 2077, we have a whole slate of new video…
July 26, 2020 Food and Water Now Exclusive to Epic Games Store Food and Water Now Exclusive to Epic Games Store CARY, N.C. — Building on their catalogue of exclusive video games, the Epic Games store announced a multi-billion dollar deal to become the world’s only…
July 21, 2020 Government Expected to Issue Second Stimulus Check to Help Americans Pay for $70 PS5 Games Government Expected to Issue Second Stimulus Check to Help Americans Pay for $70 PS5 Games WASHINGTON — The United States government is expected to announce a second relief package soon, one that will reportedly include provisions for the upcoming $70…
May 2, 2020 Historically Shit-Sucking Gamer Swears ‘Valorant’ Is Going to Be Different Historically Shit-Sucking Gamer Swears ‘Valorant’ Is Going to Be Different GREENSBORO, N.C. — Local gamer Harry Olsen, who has sucked shit at every single video game he has ever played, swears he is going to…
August 6, 2019 160 Million Americans Added to Suspected Terrorist List 160 Million Americans Added to Suspected Terrorist List WASHINGTON — The United States government has added the over 160 million Americans that play video games to a growing list of those likely to…
May 31, 2019 Rockstar Games Posts Hastily Drawn 6 on Twitter to Distract People From Latest Controversy Rockstar Games Posts Hastily Drawn 6 on Twitter to Distract People From Latest Controversy NEW YORK — Hours after a new controversy about Rockstar Games became public knowledge, the video game company posted a crudely drawn teaser image featuring…
