October 31, 2018 Freddy Krueger Still Waiting for Teenager Playing Fortnite to Go to Fucking Sleep Freddy Krueger Still Waiting for Teenager Playing Fortnite to Go to Fucking Sleep ELM STREET — Serial killer Freddy Krueger has waited thirty hours for local teenager Michael Thompson to end his Fortnite marathon and “go to fucking…
October 10, 2018 Fortnite v6.03 Patch Notes Fortnite v6.03 Patch Notes Season 6 is upon us! Here are the latest patch notes for Fortnite Battle Royale. Fixed bug that makes guns fire bullets where…
September 17, 2018 Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor SANTA CLARITA, Calif. — Pastor Paul Michaels of the Cornerstone Church announced today that he is currently on the verge of figuring out a solid…
September 8, 2018 Blast From The Past: Remember PUBG? Blast From The Past: Remember PUBG? Sometimes it’s important to take a look back and remember some of the long history of gaming’s more obscure, forgotten titles. There are countless games…
July 14, 2018 Chivalrous Gentleman Bequeaths PS4 Controller Unto Bored Girlfriend Chivalrous Gentleman Bequeaths PS4 Controller Unto Bored Girlfriend AMARILLO, Texas — Passing over the controller like King Arthur surrendering Excalibur itself, sources report that local hero Lance Mason nobly donned his PlayStation 4…
July 8, 2018 Real Life Fortnite: This Guy Built A Shitty House and Died In It Real Life Fortnite: This Guy Built A Shitty House and Died In It Think you’re Fortnite’s biggest fan? Think again. Epic Games superfan Andrew Rausch was so dedicated to the game, that he even built a house in…
July 2, 2018 Most Expensive Piece of Clothing Man Owns Fits Fortnite Character Perfectly Most Expensive Piece of Clothing Man Owns Fits Fortnite Character Perfectly NEWARK, N.J. — After a week of below average tips and above average customer abuse, local barista Joseph Shapland decided to treat himself by purchasing…
June 18, 2018 SWAT Team Actually Huge Fan of Streamer SWAT Team Actually Huge Fan of Streamer ORANGE COUNTY, Calif. — A SWAT team sent to stop a fake threat at the home of professional Twitch streamer Michael “shroud” Grzesiek reportedly told…
June 11, 2018 E3 Bouncer Assures Cliff Bleszinski He’s Already Checked Guest List Three Times E3 Bouncer Assures Cliff Bleszinski He’s Already Checked Guest List Three Times LOS ANGELES — Standing outside the Los Angeles Convention Center, legendary mid-2000s game developer Cliff “Cliffy B” Bleszinski was repeatedly told by staff that his…
