April 21, 2021 Couple Planning Wedding Forced to Make Tier List of Friends Couple Planning Wedding Forced to Make Tier List of Friends RALEIGH, N.C. — Local engaged couple Elaiza Tan and Kate Figueroa were frustrated having to sort all of their friends into a big tier list…
April 10, 2021 Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — After several years of mastering each others’ subtle quirks, local couple Arjun Irukulapati and Ellen Cervantes have regretfully decided the time…
March 22, 2021 Organizers of Martial Arts Tournament Didn’t Say Anything About a Fucking Bear Organizers of Martial Arts Tournament Didn’t Say Anything About a Fucking Bear TOKYO — A former MMA champion officially withdrew from an international martial arts competition yesterday after a brutal mauling from a Japanese brown bear. “I…
February 28, 2021 Archaeologists Uncover First Recorded Tier List in Ancient Rome Archaeologists Uncover First Recorded Tier List in Ancient Rome ROME — After reconstructing an ancient piece of pottery featuring various Roman gladiators categorized by their perceived strength, ability, and matchup spread, a team of…
August 8, 2020 Identical Tournament Fighters Grateful They Wore Different Pants Identical Tournament Fighters Grateful They Wore Different Pants OUTWORLD — Two participants, who by all accounts appeared to be exact replicants of one another, were reportedly grateful to have brought different colored pants…
April 20, 2020 ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ Pros Demand Rock Nerfed ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ Pros Demand Rock Nerfed MIAMI — Controversy has recently erupted in the Rock, Paper, Scissors pro circuit as a subset of players are now insisting on changes to the tournament…
March 13, 2019 New Edition of Fighting Game Adds 4 New Characters, 7 New Meters New Edition of Fighting Game Adds 4 New Characters, 7 New Meters YOKOHAMA, Japan — A new entry in the BlazBlue fighting game series, BlazBlue: Consequence Edict, will introduce four new characters and a record-breaking seven new…
December 15, 2018 Study Finds That 98.7% of All Successful Parries Performed Accidentally Study Finds That 98.7% of All Successful Parries Performed Accidentally NEW HAVEN, Conn. — A Yale University study confirmed what gamers have known to be true for years: nearly every successfully executed parry in any…
October 11, 2018 Street Fight Tournament Not So Great for Fans Who Parked in Lot 4B Street Fight Tournament Not So Great for Fans Who Parked in Lot 4B BATTLE HARBOR — A fun-filled day of bare-knuckle street fighting turned disastrous for many spectators once combatants began destroying cars parked in Battle Harbor, sources…
