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characters, fighting game, marriage, smash bros, Tier list, weddingRALEIGH, N.C. ā Local engaged couple Elaiza Tan and Kate Figueroa were frustrated having to sort all of their friends into a big tier list in preparation for their upcoming wedding, according to those familiar with the situation.
āHaving to list out all your friends and rank them in a list feels bad, but we need to figure out who is strong enough in the meta to make it to our wedding. Sure, people like Kris were really strong a few years ago, but after a year of COVID, theyāre not really in the meta at all anymore,ā Figueroa explained. āWe have two maids of honor, of course, which are our mains, but everyone else needs to get placed somewhere on the tier list.ā
āThe only thing we know for sure is that itās a no-kids wedding,ā she added. āKids are automatically F-tier. Theyāre annoying as hell and their low intelligence makes them awful friends.ā
Despite Figueroaās frustration, however, Tan has had a somewhat easier time ranking the coupleās friends.
āFreddy ā Kateās ex who I think she might still be in love with ā is fucking banned. He is too charismatic and OP. He is the only person I have ever met who is SSS tier. I will not allow him to come and dominate the wedding,ā said Tan. āThe thing about Fred, and I know everyoneās sick of hearing about him, is that he has a huge hitbox. And you know what I fucking mean by hitbox. Iām talking about his penis. He needs to be banned. Itās a hitbox that he uses to hit boxes. He will fuck all the bridesmaids.ā
After wedding invites were sent, several friends were saddened to discover that they were too low-tier to receive an invitation at all.
āSucks to find out Iām basically the Waluigi of the group,ā said Figueroaās co-worker Randy Tate. āI thought, at the very least, I could get in as an alt skin of that guy Mandy. But I guess weāre not really that similar after all. Hell, I donāt know if I am Waluigi. At least heās a fan favorite. At best, Iām probably just a meme pick like Three Goombas in a Stack or Tetris L Piece. Iām still holding out hope that Kate gets divorced and I can get into the next wedding, though.ā
As of press time, wedding attendants were frustrated to discover that most of the people at their tables were anime swordsmen.
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