January 7, 2021 Facebook-Banned Trump Livid He Can’t Log Into Oculus Facebook-Banned Trump Livid He Can’t Log Into Oculus WASHINGTON — Only a few hours after being banned on Facebook, President Donald Trump erupted in anger when he realized that he was no longer…
November 8, 2020 Wrong Game Show Host Dies Wrong Game Show Host Dies LOS ANGELES — A heartbroken nation looked on with remorse this afternoon as reports tragically confirmed that the wrong game show host had died early…
November 3, 2020 Guy Writing In “Waluigi” for President Doesn’t Actually Want Waluigi to Be President Guy Writing In “Waluigi” for President Doesn’t Actually Want Waluigi to Be President ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local voter Martin Frost does not actually want video game character Waluigi to be president, despite writing him in under “president” on…
October 11, 2020 Origin of Fake News Traced Back to Friend Saying He Played ‘Pokemon Purple’ in 2002 Origin of Fake News Traced Back to Friend Saying He Played ‘Pokemon Purple’ in 2002 WASHINGTON — Researchers have discovered that the origin of the “fake news” phenomenon stretches all the way back to 2002, when your friend Dennis McNulty…
August 21, 2020 Steve Bannon Arrested for Gobbling Up Skiers at Bottom of Hill Steve Bannon Arrested for Gobbling Up Skiers at Bottom of Hill WASHINGTON — Former Donald Trump advisor Steve Bannon was arrested yesterday on charges of reportedly devouring skiers at the bottom of a ski resort for…
July 14, 2020 ‘Mass Effect’ Fan Skeptical That Their Choice in Presidential Election Will Influence Ending ‘Mass Effect’ Fan Skeptical That Their Choice in Presidential Election Will Influence Ending RIVERTON, Wyo. — Avid Mass Effect fan Martin Shore plans to opt out of voting in the upcoming 2020 presidential election, citing skepticism that his…
July 2, 2018 Democrats Fail to Block Donald Trump’s Nomination to the Supreme Court Democrats Fail to Block Donald Trump’s Nomination to the Supreme Court WASHINGTON — Democrats in the Senate were unable to block President Trump’s replacement for departing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, resulting in the confirmation of…
September 3, 2017 President Trump Honored to Throw Out the First Slur at Call of Duty Tournament President Trump Honored to Throw Out the First Slur at Call of Duty Tournament PALO ALTO, Calif. — Organizers of Call of Duty World, one of the largest Call of Duty Tournaments in North America, announced that President Donald…
August 24, 2017 Trump Enlists Lazy Video Game Designers to Build Invisible Wall Along Mexican Border Trump Enlists Lazy Video Game Designers to Build Invisible Wall Along Mexican Border BELLEVUE, Wash. — Video game developer Rare have announced a new project in partnership with the White House to build a immeasurably high invisible wall…
