dnd

Asshole D&D Player Can’t Make Session Because ‘Their Parents Died’Asshole D&D Player Can’t Make Session Because ‘Their Parents Died’

Asshole D&D Player Can’t Make Session Because ‘Their Parents Died’

MIDDLETON, Wis. — Local dipshit and occasional tabletop gamer Christian Taylor has cancelled on his supposedly regular Dungeons and Dragons…

4 years ago
Dungeons & Dragons Film Stalled After Chris Pine Chooses Charisma as Dump StatDungeons & Dragons Film Stalled After Chris Pine Chooses Charisma as Dump Stat

Dungeons & Dragons Film Stalled After Chris Pine Chooses Charisma as Dump Stat

LOS ANGELES — Paramount’s troubled Dungeons & Dragons adaptation hit yet another roadblock today after lead Chris Pine chose Charisma…

4 years ago
Single D&D Session Gives New Player Confidence to Buy $50 Worth of AccessoriesSingle D&D Session Gives New Player Confidence to Buy $50 Worth of Accessories

Single D&D Session Gives New Player Confidence to Buy $50 Worth of Accessories

ATLANTA — New Dungeons and Dragons enthusiast Clarissa Elliotte reportedly bought $50 worth of accessories after playing her first session…

5 years ago
Dog Wastes Only Inventory Slot on FrisbeeDog Wastes Only Inventory Slot on Frisbee

Dog Wastes Only Inventory Slot on Frisbee

SEATTLE — Adorable old english sheepdog and total noob, Pancakes, blew the only slot in his extremely limited inventory on…

5 years ago
Loser Spends Three Years Earning Master’s Degree When He Could’ve Been Writing a Sick D&D CampaignLoser Spends Three Years Earning Master’s Degree When He Could’ve Been Writing a Sick D&D Campaign

Loser Spends Three Years Earning Master’s Degree When He Could’ve Been Writing Sick D&D Campaign

RALEIGH, N.C. — A local graduate’s Masters of Fine Arts degree was tainted by the realization the past three years…

5 years ago
Dungeon Master Sneaks a Few Real Dice in With Those Sex OnesDungeon Master Sneaks a Few Real Dice in With Those Sex Ones

Dungeon Master Sneaks Few Real Dice in With Those Sex Ones

PITTSBURGH — A recent attempt at invigorating the intimacy of Dana Boyer’s relationship with an avid role-playing fanatic ended horribly…

5 years ago
Dungeon Master Increases Puzzle’s Difficulty by Describing It ShittilyDungeon Master Increases Puzzle’s Difficulty by Describing It Shittily

Dungeon Master Increases Puzzle’s Difficulty by Describing It Shittily

SILVERTON, Ore. — In a groundbreaking move to combat his players’ adeptness at solving riddles and subverting challenges, local dungeon…

5 years ago
D&D Party Plans Intervention for Character’s Item HoardingD&D Party Plans Intervention for Character’s Item Hoarding

D&D Party Plans Intervention for Character’s Item Hoarding

GREENE, N.Y. — A local Dungeons and Dragons group recently completed a three hour session that was secretly planned as…

5 years ago
Wizard Casts ‘Mage Hand’ So It Feels Like Someone Else is Doing ItWizard Casts ‘Mage Hand’ So It Feels Like Someone Else is Doing It

Wizard Casts ‘Mage Hand’ So It Feels Like Someone Else is Doing It

CHICAGO — Local level 2 Half-Elf wizard Stedd Tallstag recently casted ‘Mage Hand’ so it felt like somebody else was…

5 years ago