divorce

Divorced, Disheveled Bill Gates Announces Everyone Is Getting a Free XboxDivorced, Disheveled Bill Gates Announces Everyone Is Getting a Free Xbox

Divorced, Disheveled Bill Gates Announces Everyone Is Getting Free Xbox

MEDINA, Wash. — Desperately attempting to sway public opinion back into his favor after his divorce, billionaire Bill Gates announced…

4 years ago
Man Convinced He’s Living ‘The Truman Show’ Gonna Masturbate AnywayMan Convinced He’s Living ‘The Truman Show’ Gonna Masturbate Anyway

Man Convinced He’s Living ‘The Truman Show’ Gonna Masturbate Anyway

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Recently divorced movie buff Darren Thorndike has not let his increasingly paranoid suspicion that his life is…

4 years ago
Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of RaymondDivorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond

Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond

RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — After hours of mediation, divorcing couple David and Sophie Keller have finally found middle ground as they…

5 years ago
Disappointment After Dad Announces ‘Mom 2’Disappointment After Dad Announces ‘Mom 2’

Disappointment After Dad Announces ‘Mom 2’

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — After waiting through three years of divorce, local brothers Jimmy and Kiernan Henderson received a surprise…

5 years ago
This Is the Only Way I Know How to Tell My Children So That They Will UnderstandThis Is the Only Way I Know How to Tell My Children So That They Will Understand

This Is the Only Way I Know How to Tell My Children So That They Will Understand

Written by Jeremy Kaplowitz. Edited by Giovanni Colantonio.

6 years ago
Teen Shipping Her Divorced ParentsTeen Shipping Her Divorced Parents

Teen Shipping Her Divorced Parents

OKEMOS, Mich. — Sources report that Joanna Nowak, 13, has been playfully daydreaming about what might happen if there were…

6 years ago
Nerd Couple Has Klingon-Themed DivorceNerd Couple Has Klingon-Themed Divorce

Nerd Couple Has Klingon-Themed Divorce

CLACKAMAS, Ore. — Citing irreconcilable differences, local Trekkies Paul and Lisa Ash went into painstaking detail to make sure that…

6 years ago
Divorce Lawyers Staff Up for Overcooked 2 ReleaseDivorce Lawyers Staff Up for Overcooked 2 Release

Divorce Lawyers Staff Up for Overcooked 2 Release

WASHINGTON  — The nation’s divorce lawyers have begun hiring extra paralegals, interns, and temps to compensate for the spike in…

7 years ago
Recently Divorced Man Flicks Metaphorical Cigarette into Gasoline by Buying Magic the Gathering Starter PackRecently Divorced Man Flicks Metaphorical Cigarette into Gasoline by Buying Magic the Gathering Starter Pack

Recently Divorced Man Flicks Metaphorical Cigarette into Gasoline by Buying Magic the Gathering Starter Pack

NANTICOKE, Pa. — After going through an arduous divorce, horrified witnesses reported that local resident Andrew Stone said “fuck it”…

7 years ago