divorce

Divorced, Disheveled Bill Gates Announces Everyone Is Getting Free Xbox

MEDINA, Wash. — Desperately attempting to sway public opinion back into his favor after his divorce, billionaire Bill Gates announced…

3 years ago

Man Convinced He’s Living ‘The Truman Show’ Gonna Masturbate Anyway

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Recently divorced movie buff Darren Thorndike has not let his increasingly paranoid suspicion that his life is…

4 years ago

Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond

RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — After hours of mediation, divorcing couple David and Sophie Keller have finally found middle ground as they…

4 years ago

Disappointment After Dad Announces ‘Mom 2’

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — After waiting through three years of divorce, local brothers Jimmy and Kiernan Henderson received a surprise…

5 years ago

This Is the Only Way I Know How to Tell My Children So That They Will Understand

Written by Jeremy Kaplowitz. Edited by Giovanni Colantonio.

6 years ago

Teen Shipping Her Divorced Parents

OKEMOS, Mich. — Sources report that Joanna Nowak, 13, has been playfully daydreaming about what might happen if there were…

6 years ago

Nerd Couple Has Klingon-Themed Divorce

CLACKAMAS, Ore. — Citing irreconcilable differences, local Trekkies Paul and Lisa Ash went into painstaking detail to make sure that…

6 years ago

Divorce Lawyers Staff Up for Overcooked 2 Release

WASHINGTON  — The nation’s divorce lawyers have begun hiring extra paralegals, interns, and temps to compensate for the spike in…

6 years ago

Recently Divorced Man Flicks Metaphorical Cigarette into Gasoline by Buying Magic the Gathering Starter Pack

NANTICOKE, Pa. — After going through an arduous divorce, horrified witnesses reported that local resident Andrew Stone said “fuck it”…

7 years ago