May 19, 2021 Divorced, Disheveled Bill Gates Announces Everyone Is Getting a Free Xbox Divorced, Disheveled Bill Gates Announces Everyone Is Getting a Free Xbox MEDINA, Wash. — Desperately attempting to sway public opinion back into his favor after his divorce, billionaire Bill Gates announced today that he would be…
February 14, 2021 Man Convinced He’s Living ‘The Truman Show’ Gonna Masturbate Anyway Man Convinced He’s Living ‘The Truman Show’ Gonna Masturbate Anyway BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Recently divorced movie buff Darren Thorndike has not let his increasingly paranoid suspicion that his life is being secretly recorded and broadcast…
August 9, 2020 Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — After hours of mediation, divorcing couple David and Sophie Keller have finally found middle ground as they have agreed to share joint…
January 21, 2020 Disappointment After Dad Announces ‘Mom 2’ Disappointment After Dad Announces ‘Mom 2’ LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — After waiting through three years of divorce, local brothers Jimmy and Kiernan Henderson received a surprise announcement from Dad about Mom…
May 7, 2019 This Is the Only Way I Know How to Tell My Children So That They Will Understand This Is the Only Way I Know How to Tell My Children So That They Will Understand Written by Jeremy Kaplowitz. Edited by Giovanni Colantonio.
April 29, 2019 Teen Shipping Her Divorced Parents Teen Shipping Her Divorced Parents OKEMOS, Mich. — Sources report that Joanna Nowak, 13, has been playfully daydreaming about what might happen if there were a relationship between her two…
April 26, 2019 Nerd Couple Has Klingon-Themed Divorce Nerd Couple Has Klingon-Themed Divorce CLACKAMAS, Ore. — Citing irreconcilable differences, local Trekkies Paul and Lisa Ash went into painstaking detail to make sure that the dissolving of their ten…
August 7, 2018 Divorce Lawyers Staff Up for Overcooked 2 Release Divorce Lawyers Staff Up for Overcooked 2 Release WASHINGTON — The nation’s divorce lawyers have begun hiring extra paralegals, interns, and temps to compensate for the spike in filings expected to accompany today’s…
April 17, 2018 Recently Divorced Man Flicks Metaphorical Cigarette into Gasoline by Buying Magic the Gathering Starter Pack Recently Divorced Man Flicks Metaphorical Cigarette into Gasoline by Buying Magic the Gathering Starter Pack NANTICOKE, Pa. — After going through an arduous divorce, horrified witnesses reported that local resident Andrew Stone said “fuck it” under his breath to himself…
