April 15, 2021 We Ranked Every Mega Man Game and Still Feel Nothing We Ranked Every Mega Man Game and Still Feel Nothing After a blurry year of stories, reviews, and just constantly having to be fucking learning about some bullshit, I thought this assignment to rank every…
October 15, 2020 Roguelike Fan Also Starts Each New Day With Nothing Roguelike Fan Also Starts Each New Day With Nothing ANKENY, Iowa — Unemployed and recently single roguelike enthusiast Daryl Cain says that he feels a strong connection to the genre, because he also starts…
September 14, 2020 Gamer Can’t Help But Hear ‘Continue?’ Every Day When Waking Up Gamer Can’t Help But Hear ‘Continue?’ Every Day When Waking Up ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local gamer Stephen McLaughlin can’t help but hear the voice of the Super Smash Bros. Melee announcer saying “Continue?” every single time…
June 25, 2019 Man Still Depressed Despite Having 15 Different Ways to Play ‘A Link To The Past’ Man Still Depressed Despite Having 15 Different Ways to Play ‘A Link To The Past’ BOSTON — Local gamer Dustin Landry has been suffering from clinical depression for years, sources familiar with his medical history report, even though he has…
June 5, 2019 Therapist Says Streamer Needs to Subscribe to Himself Therapist Says Streamer Needs to Subscribe to Himself OMAHA, Neb. — Local therapist Dr. James Walters told Mario Maker Twitch streamer Mark “NobodyLovesLuigi37” Rogers that he needs to “subscribe to himself” if he…
April 17, 2018 Recently Divorced Man Flicks Metaphorical Cigarette into Gasoline by Buying Magic the Gathering Starter Pack Recently Divorced Man Flicks Metaphorical Cigarette into Gasoline by Buying Magic the Gathering Starter Pack NANTICOKE, Pa. — After going through an arduous divorce, horrified witnesses reported that local resident Andrew Stone said “fuck it” under his breath to himself…
February 10, 2018 Early Access Game About Depression Abandoned by Creator Early Access Game About Depression Abandoned by Creator WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Michelle Avery, creator of “The Sadness Trials,” announced today she would no longer be working on her indie game that would explore…
January 30, 2018 New Indie Game Asks ‘What if a Game Wasn’t Fun?’ New Indie Game Asks ‘What if a Game Wasn’t Fun?’ SAN FRANCISCO — Two-person software development company Closed Curve Studios announced its first release will tackle the controversial subject of fun in video games, according…
