January 6, 2021 Albert Wesker Controversially Among First to Receive T-Virus Vaccine Albert Wesker Controversially Among First to Receive T-Virus Vaccine RACCOON CITY — Albert Wesker, a former commanding officer of the highly decorated Alpha Team of the STARS division of the RCPD, has angered many…
December 22, 2020 COVID Surge Pushes Local Medical Center Over Maximum Capacity of Six COVID Surge Pushes Local Medical Center Over Maximum Capacity of Six KANTO — Recent surges of coronavirus have taxed local medical centers, pushing one facility to the edge of overflow by filling all six slots at…
November 29, 2020 Eric Trump Hunts Weakened Donald Jr. for Sport Eric Trump Hunts Weakened Donald Jr. for Sport LA PAMPA, Argentina — Donald Trump Jr.’s recent COVID-19 diagnosis has inspired his brother Eric to hunt him for sport, several sources close to the…
November 26, 2020 COVID-19 Gears Up for Another Double-XP Weekend COVID-19 Gears Up for Another Double-XP Weekend ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have confirmed that the COVID-19 virus is gearing up for yet another Double-XP Weekend,…
October 26, 2020 Democrats Introduce Bill to Condemn Coronavirus Democrats Introduce Bill to Condemn Coronavirus WASHINGTON — Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Senator Chuck Schumer have introduced a bill that, if passed, would condemn COVID-19 as a “very…
October 22, 2020 GameStop Introduces Curbside Pestering GameStop Introduces Curbside Pestering GRAPEVINE, Texas — As the COVID-19 pandemic continues with no signs of slowing down, GameStop has announced that its patented insufferable brand of customer service…
October 20, 2020 Claudia Conway Reveals Her Mom Pretended to Have COVID to Play Crash Bandicoot 4 Claudia Conway Reveals Her Mom Pretended to Have COVID to Play Crash Bandicoot 4 WASHINGTON — TikTok sensation Claudia Conway released a series of bombshell videos today revealing that her mother and close Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway lied about…
October 6, 2020 Local Wedding Linked to 3,500 Deaths Local Wedding Linked to 3,500 Deaths WESTEROS — Following an exhaustive contact tracing study, a recent Riverlands wedding has been linked to 3,500 deaths, sources report. “The band had just finished…
September 7, 2020 Employees Returning to Work for First Time in Months Discover Office Overrun by Weeds Employees Returning to Work for First Time in Months Discover Office Overrun by Weeds TAMPA, Fla. — Employees returning to the local offices of Seabass Accounting & Tax Services this week were reportedly shocked to discover their cubicles overrun…
