June 12, 2021 Millennial’s Retirement Portfolio Still Has a Few Empty Sleeves Millennial’s Retirement Portfolio Still Has a Few Empty Sleeves EVANSTON, Ill. — 28-year-old bartender Grace Federman reportedly discovered several empty sleeves in her retirement portfolio after going through the Pokémon cards in her parents’…
November 20, 2020 Oprah Announces Newest Book Club Entry, ‘101 Fortnite Tips & Tricks’ Oprah Announces Newest Book Club Entry, ‘101 Fortnite Tips & Tricks’ CHICAGO — Oprah Winfrey shocked the gaming and literary worlds today by announcing that the newest entry in her long running tastemaking book club would…
March 31, 2020 Dark Tower Multiverse Technically Allows for World Where Film Adaptation Is Good Dark Tower Multiverse Technically Allows for World Where Film Adaptation Is Good OXFORD, England — Devoted fans of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series have hypothesized that the multiverse contained in the story’s lore would mean that…
December 9, 2019 God Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has a Bunch of Songs in It God Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has a Bunch of Songs in It CHARLESTON, S.C. — Horrified readers across the nation are reporting highly anticipated fantasy novel Obelisk of Dawn is packed with awful songs. “Sing for the…
September 4, 2018 New Tom Clancy Novel About a Friggin Gun That Became President New Tom Clancy Novel About a Friggin Gun That Became President BALTIMORE — Sources report that the newest novel in the Jack Ryan series originally created by Tom Clancy before his death is about a gun…
