board games

Bishop Zips Across Chessboard Outta Fuckin Nowhere

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — In a major blow that took place just seconds into one of his first casual games,…

3 years ago

Host Offers Choice Between This Really Dope Board Game That Sounds Awesome and Two Others

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local game night host Paul Cumiskey has been subjected to heavy criticism following guests’ accusations of bias…

5 years ago

Simpsons-Themed Monopoly Game Only Fun for 10 or 11 Turns

ALPENA, Mich. —  A recent game of a Simpsons themed version of the classic board game Monopoly only proved to…

5 years ago

‘Monopoly II: Aftermath’ Explores Life in Atlantic City Ravaged by Unfettered Capitalism

PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Hasbro, in a press release today, announced Monopoly II: Aftermath, a direct sequel to iconic board game…

6 years ago

Friend Asking Around For Wood Like It Grows on Fucking Trees

BUFFALO, N.Y. — Novice Settlers of Catan player Jason Meyers reportedly made repeated pleas for wood from his fellow players…

6 years ago

Report: Rule Going Into Effect From Now On

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — A local game night was abruptly interrupted by the discovery that the group had been playing the…

6 years ago

Sheep Can’t Believe He’s Being Traded for Fucking Wheat

CATAN — After intense trade negotiations concluded late Wednesday on the geographically diverse archipelago of Catan, a sheep belonging to…

6 years ago

Amazon Acquires Hasbro to Become Exclusive Seller of Monopoly

SEATTLE — In a move widely expected by the industry, Amazon has acquired the board game giant Hasbro with the…

7 years ago

Guy Who Bitched for Five Straight Hours Wins Board Game at Last Second

BOSTON —  After five brutal hours of incessant, imaginative bitching, the well-documented hater of “fruity-ass board games,” Sam Daniels, secured…

7 years ago