board games

Bishop Zips Across Chessboard Outta Fuckin NowhereBishop Zips Across Chessboard Outta Fuckin Nowhere

Bishop Zips Across Chessboard Outta Fuckin Nowhere

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — In a major blow that took place just seconds into one of his first casual games,…

4 years ago
Host Offers Choice Between This Really Dope Board Game That Sounds Awesome and Two OthersHost Offers Choice Between This Really Dope Board Game That Sounds Awesome and Two Others

Host Offers Choice Between This Really Dope Board Game That Sounds Awesome and Two Others

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local game night host Paul Cumiskey has been subjected to heavy criticism following guests’ accusations of bias…

5 years ago
Simpsons-Themed Monopoly Game Only Fun for 10 or 11 TurnsSimpsons-Themed Monopoly Game Only Fun for 10 or 11 Turns

Simpsons-Themed Monopoly Game Only Fun for 10 or 11 Turns

ALPENA, Mich. —  A recent game of a Simpsons themed version of the classic board game Monopoly only proved to…

5 years ago
‘Monopoly II: Aftermath’ Explores Life in Atlantic City Ravaged by Unfettered Capitalism‘Monopoly II: Aftermath’ Explores Life in Atlantic City Ravaged by Unfettered Capitalism

‘Monopoly II: Aftermath’ Explores Life in Atlantic City Ravaged by Unfettered Capitalism

PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Hasbro, in a press release today, announced Monopoly II: Aftermath, a direct sequel to iconic board game…

6 years ago
Friend Asking Around For Wood Like It Grows on Fucking TreesFriend Asking Around For Wood Like It Grows on Fucking Trees

Friend Asking Around For Wood Like It Grows on Fucking Trees

BUFFALO, N.Y. — Novice Settlers of Catan player Jason Meyers reportedly made repeated pleas for wood from his fellow players…

6 years ago
Report: Rule Going Into Effect From Now OnReport: Rule Going Into Effect From Now On

Report: Rule Going Into Effect From Now On

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — A local game night was abruptly interrupted by the discovery that the group had been playing the…

6 years ago
Sheep Can’t Believe He’s Being Traded for Fucking WheatSheep Can’t Believe He’s Being Traded for Fucking Wheat

Sheep Can’t Believe He’s Being Traded for Fucking Wheat

CATAN — After intense trade negotiations concluded late Wednesday on the geographically diverse archipelago of Catan, a sheep belonging to…

7 years ago
Amazon Acquires Hasbro to Become Exclusive Seller of MonopolyAmazon Acquires Hasbro to Become Exclusive Seller of Monopoly

Amazon Acquires Hasbro to Become Exclusive Seller of Monopoly

SEATTLE — In a move widely expected by the industry, Amazon has acquired the board game giant Hasbro with the…

7 years ago
Guy Who Bitched for Five Straight Hours Wins Board Game at Last SecondGuy Who Bitched for Five Straight Hours Wins Board Game at Last Second

Guy Who Bitched for Five Straight Hours Wins Board Game at Last Second

BOSTON —  After five brutal hours of incessant, imaginative bitching, the well-documented hater of “fruity-ass board games,” Sam Daniels, secured…

7 years ago