January 10, 2022 Take-Two Decides to Acquire Zynga for $12.7 Billion Instead of Waiting 24 Hours Take-Two Decides to Acquire Zynga for $12.7 Billion Instead of Waiting 24 Hours NEW YORK — Take-Two Interactive made a shocking acquisition today, opting to buy mobile game company Zynga for $12.7 billion dollars instead of waiting 24…
January 10, 2022 I Touched Every Blade of Grass in ‘Breath of the Wild’ and Learned I Need to Make Increasingly Complicated Video Game Content In Order to Feel Anything Anymore I Touched Every Blade of Grass in ‘Breath of the Wild’ and Learned I Need to Make Increasingly Complicated Video Game Content In Order to Feel Anything Anymore If you’re familiar with my work or video game content in general, you know that I love to go to ridiculous lengths to find unique…
January 8, 2022 Tranquil, Meditative Puzzle Game Being Real Piece of Shit Today Tranquil, Meditative Puzzle Game Being Real Piece of Shit Today CHICAGO — A series of slowly paced puzzle games have dangerously raised the blood pressure of local man Harry Foster, worried neighbors reported yesterday. “He…
January 8, 2022 Study Shows Adjusting Medicine Cabinet Mirror Still Best Way to Reveal Killer Is Behind You Study Shows Adjusting Medicine Cabinet Mirror Still Best Way to Reveal Killer Is Behind You WINNIPEG, Minn. — In an effort to spread awareness about self-defense against serial killers, chainsaw wielders and other assorted miscellaneous demons and monsters, experts confirmed…
January 8, 2022 Bookstore Forced to Sell Stupid Little Nerd Toys Bookstore Forced to Sell Stupid Little Nerd Toys CHICAGO — Wicker Park bookstore Norm’s Books was forced to dedicate a corner of its store to toys, collectibles and other meaningless garbage based on…
January 7, 2022 Bill Clinton Releases Annual List of Favorite Dating Sims Set in a High School Bill Clinton Releases Annual List of Favorite Dating Sims Set in a High School NEW YORK — Former President Bill Clinton has reportedly finally revealed his Favorite Dating Sims Set in a High School list for 2021, posting his…
January 7, 2022 Wordle Fans Concerned After Answers Spell Out “Noble Truth: Steve Warns About Angry Enemy. Users Ought Bring Flame Among House” Wordle Fans Concerned After Answers Spell Out “Noble Truth: Steve Warns About Angry Enemy. Users Ought Bring Flame Among House” NEW YORK — Fans of the viral online spelling phenomenon Wordle have grown concerned after the consecutive 5-letter words seemed to spell a message from…
January 7, 2022 Hypocrite Crying Bad Game Design Also Dies in One Hit From Knife Hypocrite Crying Bad Game Design Also Dies in One Hit From Knife ORLANDO, Fla. — Local gamer Drake O’Connor reportedly keeps complaining about a mechanic in the first person shooter game Warfare Unleashed 3 in which characters…
January 6, 2022 Anita Sarkeesian Criticizes Gay Porn for Lack of Female Representation Anita Sarkeesian Criticizes Gay Porn for Lack of Female Representation LOS ANGELES — Feminist Frequency founder Anita Sarkeesian wrote a critical review of a recent gay porn video, citing the film’s lack of female representation…
