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Bill Clinton Releases Annual List of Favorite Dating Sims Set in a High School


NEW YORK — Former President Bill Clinton has reportedly finally revealed his Favorite Dating Sims Set in a High School list for 2021, posting his official selections across social media. 

“This year, more people have noticed an unsurprising continued trend of 100% of the game’s love interests being underage anime girls,” said Lyle Torvalds, an analyst for the gaming industry focused on the subgenre of dating sims set in a high school. “Maybe the biggest surprise in this year’s list is Doki Doki Literature Club Plus! being all the way at the bottom, but Clinton added a supplemental note explaining that he just got too scared to finish it.”

Clinton’s list, while much anticipated, does not come without its critics. Some have cited its unusual and consistent resemblance between the premises of the games and real life situations from recent history that have involved Clinton.

“Skipping to the top 3 on Mr. Clinton’s list we start with Club Hentai: Girls, Love, Sex, which is seemingly about a high school club in which the club’s activity is having sex,” continued Torvalds, flipping to page 43 of the 100-page dossier. “Taking the second to top on the list is Love Plane Deluxe: School Days, a game Mr. Clinton notes to be one of his favorites due to some — and I quote — ‘enjoyable past memories.’ At the top of his list is Love Flute, specifically due to its jazzy soundtrack. The plot of that one doesn’t actually match up with any allegations against him, except for the fact that he also happens to play jazz.”

At press time, discussion about President Clinton’s list had been cut short after the announcement that Hillary Clinton had finally released her annual top 10 list of war simulation games.