February 21, 2019 Opinion: My Squad Won in Apex Legends. Here’s Why I Refuse to Go to the White House Opinion: My Squad Won in Apex Legends. Here’s Why I Refuse to Go to the White House After days of practice and preparation, my teammates finally reached the mountaintop and got our first squad win. However, because I disagree with the politics…
February 21, 2019 Red Dead Redemption 2: Extended Edition Just Regular Edition With Slower Horses Red Dead Redemption 2: Extended Edition Just Regular Edition With Slower Horses NEW YORK — Rockstar Games confirmed yesterday that their new release Red Dead Redemption 2: Extended Edition is just the base game with slower horses.…
February 20, 2019 DNC Struggling to Pick a Main DNC Struggling to Pick a Main WASHINGTON — The Democratic National Committee is reportedly struggling to decide on a main ahead of the 2020 election now that Bernie Sanders is confirmed…
February 19, 2019 Gamer Girl Toes [DO NOT PUBLISH] Gamer Girl Toes [DO NOT PUBLISH] Dear Hard Drive editors, Here are the pictures you wanted. I don’t have your email addresses so I uploaded this as a draft in WordPress…
February 18, 2019 Report: 90% of Millennials Now Suffering From Kiosk Neck Report: 90% of Millennials Now Suffering From Kiosk Neck WASHINGTON – After calling an unexpected emergency press conference, the United States Surgeon General announced today that 90% of millennials have developed a dangerous condition…
February 17, 2019 Nintendo Virtual Boy Classic Comes Bundled With Three Games and Bottle of Ibuprofen Nintendo Virtual Boy Classic Comes Bundled With Three Games and Bottle of Ibuprofen KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has announced they will be releasing a classic edition of their stereoscopic 3D Virtual Boy system this spring, following the success…
February 16, 2019 Opinion: Please Kill Me Opinion: Please Kill Me Oh thank Christ, I finally found you. Yes you officer, the one with the shotgun. Sir, I need you to do me a real solid…
February 15, 2019 Nation’s Parents Confirm Top New Streamer Named ‘Fungo’ or Something Along Those Lines Nation’s Parents Confirm Top New Streamer Named ‘Fungo’ or Something Along Those Lines COLUMBIA, S.C. — An advocacy group of American parents announced this morning that the top new personality on the Twitch video game streaming platform was…
February 14, 2019 Installing Linux and 10 Other Sexy Ideas to Set the Mood This Valentine’s Day Installing Linux and 10 Other Sexy Ideas to Set the Mood This Valentine’s Day It’s Valentine’s Day and whether you’re a few dates in or just celebrating your golden anniversary, romancing your partner is a must. Here at WIRED…