December 2, 2021 Thing You’re Really Excited For Delayed to 2023 Thing You’re Really Excited For Delayed to 2023 After putting off telling you as long as it could, the entertainment industry has announced that the release you were looking most forward to next…
December 2, 2021 Mexico Votes to Change Country’s Tint to Purple Mexico Votes to Change Country’s Tint to Purple MEXICO CITY — The citizens of Mexico have overwhelmingly voted to change the tint of their country from orange to purple, according to early exit…
December 2, 2021 NBC Announces New Show ‘Chicago Gamer’ NBC Announces New Show ‘Chicago Gamer’ JUST OUTSIDE OF CHICAGO — NBC and Dick Wolf have announced the most recent addition to their Chicago universe series of television shows — a…
December 2, 2021 Gendo Ikari Blames Sun Glare in Eyeglasses for Car Accident Gendo Ikari Blames Sun Glare in Eyeglasses for Car Accident TOKYO-3 — The director of NERV, Gendo Ikari, caused an accident on the highway that led to a three car pileup. According to those close…
December 1, 2021 Residents Shocked to Discover 97% of Liberty City Cops Live Outside the Map Residents Shocked to Discover 97% of Liberty City Cops Live Outside the Map LIBERTY CITY — Liberty City citizens were shocked and dismayed to learn that over 39,000 officers of the 40,000-strong LCPD live outside the scrolling area…
December 1, 2021 Gotham Opera Singer Glad Dicks Who Walked Out Got What Was Coming Gotham Opera Singer Glad Dicks Who Walked Out Got What Was Coming GOTHAM CITY — The lead singer of Wayne Opera House’s production of Mefistofele has gone on record saying the assholes who left the show halfway…
November 30, 2021 Our 2021 Holiday Shopping Guide: Everything I Would Like Our Readers to Buy Me Our 2021 Holiday Shopping Guide: Everything I Would Like Our Readers to Buy Me Hey Hard Drivers! It’s the most wonderful time of the year again: the holidays! With major game releases, new high tech products, and more sales…
November 30, 2021 Man Catching Up on Popular Show Can’t Wait to See Parts Where the Memes Come From Man Catching Up on Popular Show Can’t Wait to See Parts Where the Memes Come From DES MOINES, Iowa — Local man Alton Redford expressed an excitement to catch up on Netflix series Squid Game so that he can finally see…
November 27, 2021 Retired Bullet Bill Now Going by Bullet William Retired Bullet Bill Now Going by Bullet William MUSHROOM KINGDOM — After decades of launching himself out of cannons and into walls, blocks, and plumbers, iconic grunt enemy and veteran Bullet Bill —…
