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Man With Low Speed Stat Waiting for His Turn in Argument with Boss


CUPERTINO, Calif. ー A workplace argument quickly took a turn for the worse earlier today as office worker Dennis O’Hara was totally steamrolled by his boss due to his low speed stat, shocked co-workers confirmed. 

“It was hard to watch,” admitted Miguel Nuñez, an accountant also working at the Jenova, Barrett & Wallace investment firm. “The crazy part is that O’Hara was in the right. The boss was screaming at him in our meeting for not following up with a client, but Mr. Logan was the one who said he’d reach out to that client in the first place! If had only been wearing equipment that increased his speed by just a little bit, he probably could have explained the situation before it got out of hand.” 

O’Hara was reportedly stunned at his loss following the showdown. 

“I have no idea what happened,” stammered O’Hara while sipping water from a little paper cup with shaking hands. “His stats are total trash; I should have been able to end the argument before he got a hit in on me. I’ve always been faster than him, but he must’ve gotten a buff from his quarterly bonus. Thank God I tend to run a more defensive build and that my charisma countered his critical hits. I thought I was done for. Jesus.”  

Other colleagues weighed in after having seen how poorly O’Hara performed in the confrontation with his new boss.

“Dennis may need to do some training if he’s having trouble taking on his own boss,” suggested an intern as she paced back and forth in a small, repetitive pattern in the conference room. “It’s easy to gain EXP by walking around and getting into arguments with weaker opponents like Starbucks baristas and elderly women at Whole Foods. These locations can be found on the map screen in the main menu!” 

At press time, the tables had finally turned in O’Hara’s favor as he used a summon material to call his Human Resources representative to fight in his place.