November 14, 2021 New Adult LEGO Set Lets You Build Your Tiny Pathetic Apartment New Adult LEGO Set Lets You Build Your Tiny Pathetic Apartment ENFIELD, Conn. — The LEGO Company released a new set today that will allow you to bring that underwhelming little place you call home to…
October 10, 2021 Friendless Man Forced to Fill Birthday Party With CPU Characters Friendless Man Forced to Fill Birthday Party With CPU Characters CLEVELAND — A local man without nearby friends was recently forced to fill his birthday party with CPU characters, concerned neighbors have reported. “I saw…
September 11, 2021 Kaiju Folds New Yorker In Half Before Eating Him Kaiju Folds New Yorker In Half Before Eating Him NEW YORK — A ginormous amphibious creature known as Crathrax is currently terrorizing New York City and reportedly eating residents only after folding them in…
September 3, 2021 Anonymous Stand-Up Comedian Reveals His Fear of Releasing New Material Under Cancel Culture Anonymous Stand-Up Comedian Reveals His Fear of Releasing New Material Under Cancel Culture LOS ANGELES ー An unnamed comedian has issued a scathing public statement pushing back against “wokeness” in comedy, claiming stand-up is a dying art as…
August 1, 2021 Man With Low Speed Stat Waiting for His Turn in Argument with Boss Man With Low Speed Stat Waiting for His Turn in Argument with Boss CUPERTINO, Calif. ー A workplace argument quickly took a turn for the worse earlier today as office worker Dennis O’Hara was totally steamrolled by his…
July 31, 2021 Disney Confirms Success of ‘Jungle Cruise’ Could Lead to Movie Based on Splash Mountain Disney Confirms Success of ‘Jungle Cruise’ Could Lead to Movie Based on Splash Mountain LOS ANGELES — Following the success of their Dwayne Johnson led film Jungle Cruise, Disney announced today that it will begin production soon on another…
July 17, 2021 George Jetson Quietly Sings Own Theme Song to Remember If Wife’s Name Is Jane or Judy George Jetson Quietly Sings Own Theme Song to Remember If Wife’s Name Is Jane or Judy ORBIT CITY — George Jetson, a longtime employee of Spacely’s Sprockets, was overheard by colleagues earlier today as he quietly tried to remember the words…
March 12, 2021 Guy Takes Break from Playing Video Games to Watch Show About Playing Video Games Guy Takes Break from Playing Video Games to Watch Show About Playing Video Games SAN FRANCISCO — Declaring he needed a break from gaming, local man Jason McReady docked his Nintendo Switch and opened YouTube on his PlayStation 4…
February 14, 2021 Man Convinced He’s Living ‘The Truman Show’ Gonna Masturbate Anyway Man Convinced He’s Living ‘The Truman Show’ Gonna Masturbate Anyway BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Recently divorced movie buff Darren Thorndike has not let his increasingly paranoid suspicion that his life is being secretly recorded and broadcast…
