April 18, 2021 Pope Heartbroken to Discover Church Is Evil in Most JRPGs Pope Heartbroken to Discover Church Is Evil in Most JRPGs VATICAN CITY — Following an announcement from Vatican officials that Pope Francis has started playing video games to pass time during quarantine, the Pope has…
April 16, 2021 ‘Mario Golf: Super Rush’ Adds Guy Who Tells You to Tuck in Your Shirt There, Buddy, This Isn’t the Hood ‘Mario Golf: Super Rush’ Adds Guy Who Tells You to Tuck in Your Shirt There, Buddy, This Isn’t the Hood KYOTO, Japan — In a surprise Direct presentation, Nintendo announced that Mario Golf: Super Rush will be adding a new character: the golf bro who…
April 15, 2021 We Ranked Every Mega Man Game and Still Feel Nothing We Ranked Every Mega Man Game and Still Feel Nothing After a blurry year of stories, reviews, and just constantly having to be fucking learning about some bullshit, I thought this assignment to rank every…
April 14, 2021 Want to Write About Video Games? Here’s 4,000 Blank Lines So You Can Print This Article and Get Started Want to Write About Video Games? Here’s 4,000 Blank Lines So You Can Print This Article and Get Started It’s hard to break into the video game journalism industry. That’s why we wanted to give you a leg up! _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________…
April 12, 2021 Teammate With One Damage Uses Max Health Potion Teammate With One Damage Uses Max Health Potion TAMPA, Fla. — Local gamer Scott Porter faced condemnation from teammates for drinking a Max Health potion when he only had one damage and could…
April 11, 2021 Review: ‘Link’s Awakening’ Is More Gorgeous Than Ever After 26 Years, Unlike You Review: ‘Link’s Awakening’ Is More Gorgeous Than Ever After 26 Years, Unlike You Review by Andy Holt. Video by Peter Kemme.
April 10, 2021 Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — After several years of mastering each others’ subtle quirks, local couple Arjun Irukulapati and Ellen Cervantes have regretfully decided the time…
April 8, 2021 ‘Call of Duty’ Color Blind Mode Excuses You From Duty ‘Call of Duty’ Color Blind Mode Excuses You From Duty SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Activision has spurred a recent controversy in the gaming community with a patch for Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War,…
April 7, 2021 Guy Who Threw Away Box Without Looking Can’t Believe PS5 Didn’t Come With Power Cable Guy Who Threw Away Box Without Looking Can’t Believe PS5 Didn’t Come With Power Cable NEW YORK — Scoffing at the disappointing contents of the package he’d just paid $500 for, local man Tyler Lopresti, who just moments ago threw…
