May 20, 2021 ‘Metroid’ Remaster Forces Players to Play as Male Samus Unless They Purchase $25 Female Samus Amiibo ‘Metroid’ Remaster Forces Players to Play as Male Samus Unless They Purchase $25 Female Samus Amiibo KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced a surprise HD remaster of the original Metroid today in which you have to play as a male Samus unless…
May 18, 2021 Sony Releases PS5 That’s Just the Disc Drive Sony Releases PS5 That’s Just the Disc Drive TOKYO — Sony announced this morning that they have developed a PlayStation 5 that’s just the disc drive. “We did the PS5 that had a…
May 16, 2021 Dystopian Predictions of the Future Could Not Have Predicted Today’s Reality: $70 Video Games Dystopian Predictions of the Future Could Not Have Predicted Today’s Reality: $70 Video Games WASHINGTON — Analysts warned today that we have reached a new apocalyptic crisis which even the worst models could not have predicted: video games that…
May 12, 2021 New GTA “Israel Mode” Gives Civilians a Little Pocket Knife so You Feel Better About Going on Murderous Rampage New GTA “Israel Mode” Gives Civilians a Little Pocket Knife so You Feel Better About Going on Murderous Rampage NEW YORK — Grand Theft Auto 5 is getting a new Israel-themed game mode that gives tiny pocket knives to pedestrians, meaning you can murder…
May 8, 2021 Retrospective: We Look Back at ‘Super Mario 1D World’ Retrospective: We Look Back at ‘Super Mario 1D World’ With the recent releases of Super Mario 3D All-Stars and Super Mario 3D World, gamers are reflecting on the long legacy of the Mario franchise.…
May 7, 2021 Tedious Baseball Video Game Makes You Play in Minor League for Almost a Whole Season Tedious Baseball Video Game Makes You Play in Minor League for Almost a Whole Season SAN DIEGO — MLB: The Show 21 has received criticism from fans for its single-player campaign, Road to the Show, which forces the main character…
May 5, 2021 Villager Warns Children About Spooky House No One Has Left in 11 Months Villager Warns Children About Spooky House No One Has Left in 11 Months DESERTED ISLAND — Shaking as he described the terrors that might lie inside, local island resident Lobo warned a group of children that no one…
May 4, 2021 Review: ‘New Pokemon Snap’ Lets You Take Sexy Photos of Pokemon (Assuming You Already Find Pokemon Inherently Sexy) Review: ‘New Pokemon Snap’ Lets You Take Sexy Photos of Pokemon (Assuming You Already Find Pokemon Inherently Sexy) After more than 20 years, Nintendo’s beloved cult hit Pokémon Snap has returned with a sequel that offers the same atmosphere, adventure, and fun. It…
May 3, 2021 Incredible: How This Millennial Was Able to Buy Their Own Farm at 21 All On Their Own Incredible: How This Millennial Was Able to Buy Their Own Farm at 21 All On Their Own While most millennials are worrying about paying off their college debt and working multiple jobs to make ends meet, one millennial was able to pull…
