August 15, 2020 Diddy Kong Accused of Using System of Barrels to Skip First Two Years of College Diddy Kong Accused of Using System of Barrels to Skip First Two Years of College EAST LANSING, Mich. — Diddy Kong is the latest celebrity to stand accused of using his celebrity status to bypass the rigors of higher education,…
August 15, 2020 Gamer Spoilt for Choice Between Game She’s Tired Of and Podcast She Hates Gamer Spoilt for Choice Between Game She’s Tired Of and Podcast She Hates LOS ANGELES — Local gamer Patty Kemp reportedly had a difficult time deciding how to entertain herself yesterday evening, with exciting choices including playing a…
August 13, 2020 Local Middle Schooler Releases 2020 Dad Tier List Local Middle Schooler Releases 2020 Dad Tier List MAZOMANIE, Wis. — James K. Polk Jr. high school student Nick Epson released his hotly anticipated dad tier list of the year this week, placing…
August 12, 2020 Gamer Sets Life to Hard Mode by Sleeping 3 Hours Per Night Gamer Sets Life to Hard Mode by Sleeping 3 Hours Per Night SANTA ANA, Calif. — Local gamer Niles Rosenbaum decided to increase the difficulty level of his life by reducing his sleep to three hours per…
August 12, 2020 Belle Delphine Arrested for Selling Gamer Girl Uranium to North Korea Belle Delphine Arrested for Selling Gamer Girl Uranium to North Korea WASHINGTON — The FBI confirmed today that viral internet celebrity Mary-Belle Kirschner, better known as Belle Delphine, has been taken into custody for her attempt…
August 10, 2020 Fans Furious After Sony Confirms PS2 Will Not Be Forward Compatible With PS5 Games Fans Furious After Sony Confirms PS2 Will Not Be Forward Compatible With PS5 Games SAN MATEO, Calif. — PlayStation fans worldwide erupted in fury today, following Sony’s shock announcement that classic gaming system PlayStation 2 would not be forward…
August 9, 2020 Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — After hours of mediation, divorcing couple David and Sophie Keller have finally found middle ground as they have agreed to share joint…
August 8, 2020 Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to cross a river because they…
August 8, 2020 Identical Tournament Fighters Grateful They Wore Different Pants Identical Tournament Fighters Grateful They Wore Different Pants OUTWORLD — Two participants, who by all accounts appeared to be exact replicants of one another, were reportedly grateful to have brought different colored pants…
