July 26, 2017 Incredible Rocket League Player Did Aerial Thing on Purpose Incredible Rocket League Player Did Aerial Thing on Purpose BALTIMORE — In one of the most impressive Rocket League feats of all time, incredible gamer Carlos Villalba performed a mid-air shot on goal for the…
July 25, 2017 Trump Reminds GOP Senators Before Healthcare Vote “No Russian” Trump Reminds GOP Senators Before Healthcare Vote “No Russian” WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump grimly said to GOP lawmakers “Remember, no Russian,” moments before the elevator doors opened to the Senate floor for the…
July 25, 2017 MLG All-Star Out 2-4 Weeks After Receiving “C” on Geography Quiz MLG All-Star Out 2-4 Weeks After Receiving “C” on Geography Quiz DAYTON, Ohio — MLG All-Star Eric Harland, AKA “FrosTyBallZ”, is expected to miss 2-4 weeks after getting a “C” on a recent geography quiz, Evil…
July 24, 2017 Study: 9 Out of 10 League of Legends Players Report Having Fucked Your Mom Study: 9 Out of 10 League of Legends Players Report Having Fucked Your Mom PASADENA, Calif. — A comprehensive study conducted at Stanford University revealed that for every ten people who regularly play League of Legends, nine of them…
July 23, 2017 Video Game Story Writer Considers Water Level His Ulysses Video Game Story Writer Considers Water Level His Ulysses LANSING, Mich. — Veteran gaming story writer Scott McCormick is reportedly exceptionally pleased with his latest work, the backstory of a water level in an…
July 21, 2017 Q*bert Cosplayer Pronounced Dead After Fall Down Convention Staircase Q*bert Cosplayer Pronounced Dead After Fall Down Convention Staircase SAN DIEGO — Comic Con event staff announced the tragic death of an attendee dressed as 1980s video game protagonist Q*bert today, following a loud, rhythmic…
July 20, 2017 Creator of No Man’s Sky Looks Nothing Like His Dating Profile Creator of No Man’s Sky Looks Nothing Like His Dating Profile GUILDFORD, U.K. — Local woman Sarah Letts was severely disappointed today to discover that her Tinder date, No Man’s Sky lead developer Sean Murray, had…
July 19, 2017 Girlfriend Announces ‘No Rush 30 Min’ Rule in Bedroom Girlfriend Announces ‘No Rush 30 Min’ Rule in Bedroom BEDROOM — Local girlfriend Claire Middleton reportedly announced a strict “NR 30 Min” rule at the beginning of an intimate bedroom match with boyfriend and…
July 18, 2017 Help! I Can’t Get Past the Part in Dark Souls 3 Where My Wife Threatens to Take the Kids and Go Help! I Can’t Get Past the Part in Dark Souls 3 Where My Wife Threatens to Take the Kids and Go Help! I’ve been playing Dark Souls nonstop for the past three weeks and I’m completely stuck. Does anyone know how to get past the part…
