February 12, 2021 Mass Effect Devs Compromise With Angry Gamers by Giving Commander Shepard Gigantic, Juicy Balls Mass Effect Devs Compromise With Angry Gamers by Giving Commander Shepard Gigantic, Juicy Balls EDMONTON — BioWare has announced a compromise for Mass Effect fans upset about the removal of various butt shots in the Legendary Editions, giving Commander…
February 11, 2021 Mobile Gamer Discovers 16-Digit Cheat Code Mobile Gamer Discovers 16-Digit Cheat Code HARTFORD, Conn. — Local mobile gamer Jeremy Jackson has drastically improved his performance in gacha game Legend of the Bravest Heroes by discovering a very…
February 10, 2021 Roguelike Genre Purist Hopes Someone Will Develop a Roguelike Someday Roguelike Genre Purist Hopes Someone Will Develop a Roguelike Someday SPOKANE, Wash. — Gamer and self-proclaimed roguelike genre purist Noreen Ramirez, hot off the heels of her tenth no-hit run of the acclaimed roguelite Hades,…
February 9, 2021 CD Projekt Red Pleads With Hackers for Three More Weeks to Meet Demands CD Projekt Red Pleads With Hackers for Three More Weeks to Meet Demands WARSAW — Following a data breach that reportedly involved internal documents and sensitive personal information, game developers CD Projekt Red have released a public statement…
February 9, 2021 Hades Player Horny for Every Character Might Just Be Horny Hades Player Horny for Every Character Might Just Be Horny BROOKLYN, N.Y. — A new study released by researchers at St. Joseph’s College has revealed that Hades players who are horny for all of the…
February 8, 2021 Mass Effect: Legendary Edition Adds Advisory for Outdated, Offensive Portrayal of Ass Mass Effect: Legendary Edition Adds Advisory for Outdated, Offensive Portrayal of Ass EDMONTON — Following negative responses to their initial statement, a Bioware press release has revealed their new decision to imprint a disclaimer on Miranda’s butt…
February 7, 2021 Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With a Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With a Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent As any self-respecting video game review reader knows, reviewing video games is really hard work and nothing hurts more than when someone loads up the…
February 6, 2021 Nintendo: Mario Will No Longer Come Back to Life Starting Next Week Nintendo: Mario Will No Longer Come Back to Life Starting Next Week KYOTO, Japan — A Nintendo press release has revealed that after decades of work as video games’ most iconic mascot, Mario will soon be dead…
February 4, 2021 Sony Accidentally Vaporizes Demonstrator in Showcase of PS5’s Technical Power Sony Accidentally Vaporizes Demonstrator in Showcase of PS5’s Technical Power NEW YORK — CEO of Sony Interactive Entertainment Jim Ryan accidentally vaporized intern Kris Smythe in a livestream demonstration of the PlayStation 5 this morning,…
