Categories: Video Games

Get It Together: Can You Remember What Case You Left Melee in Before Your Sleepover Devolves Into Chaos?

It’s Friday, and you know what that means: the boys are coming over for a sleepover! Mom just tidied up the basement, you’ve already picked up plenty of Dr. Pepper and Savory Bold Chex Mix, and Jake, Max, and Ari are here to play some Super Smash Bros. Melee until tonight’s new episode of Robot Chicken comes on. Just as you’re telling everyone how you’ve finally mastered wavedashing, you open the Melee game case to discover…Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg?! Oh no! Your bad habit of not putting games back in their original cases strikes again! Your friends look at the disc in your hand with anticipation…

DO YOU:

Play Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg
“Um, actually I’ve got a better game we can play,” you nervously say as you put Billy Hatcher in the open GameCube disc drive. Your friends are skeptical, but the four of you stay up all night playing the Billy Hatcher multiplayer mode. It’s not as fun as Melee, but you all have a great time anyway due to the strength of your shared friendship and the game becomes an inside joke for years to come. You even put lyrics to the Billy Hatcher theme song as your yearbook quote.

When you get to college, you try to get a game going in your dorm with your new roommates, but it feels forced and just isn’t the same. You realize you will never know true joy like when you were in high school. Years later, you die alone at 88. THE END. Try again?

Continue to look for your Melee disc

“Sorry, guys. It must be in a different case,” you say to your friends. You turn back around and start scouring the disorganized pile of games next to the TV your dad is always yelling at you about. Is it in Sonic Adventure 2: Battle? No. What about X2: Wolverine’s Revenge? Still no. Metal Arms: Glitch in the System? Damn! Where could it be? Just as you’re getting frantic, Ari pipes up. “My brother just showed me this awesome video on Newgrounds. Can we watch it?” As you head upstairs to the computer in your Dad’s office, you remember the last place you saw Melee was inside the case for Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness!

DO YOU:

Watch the Newgrounds cartoon that Ari wants to see

You lead everyone upstairs to the computer in your Dad’s office. Ari looks up the new Foamy the Squirrel video on Newgrounds. Everyone laughs a lot. Ari says, “Alright, what should we watch next?” As he says that, you see a drawing of Pikachu holding a beer in a thumbnail for another cartoon. It reminds you that the last place you saw Melee was inside the case for Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness!

DO YOU:

Watch more Newgrounds cartoons

Ari says he saw this one video on Newgrounds where Mario has sex with Peach. You refuse to believe him, but he says it’s totally real and super hot. Just as Ari clicks the “Adult” tab on the homepage, your Mom bursts in and sees the video playing full screen! Busted! She sends all of your friends home and grounds you for two weeks. THE END. Try again?

Sneak back downstairs and search the case for Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness

Just as you can hear your friends loading up “The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny” from the office, you sneak back downstairs to continue the hunt. You open the case for Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness, only to find the disc for Animal Crossing. Damn! Your memory’s playing tricks on you! Before you can regroup, your friends come back downstairs. They got a call from Dylan on Max’s cell phone, he just got ODST on his 360! They’re gonna head over to his house to play. Are you coming with? 

DO YOU:

Abandon the sleepover and go to Dylan’s house

You swallow your pride and get into Max’s Dad’s car when he arrives half an hour later. You make it to Dylan’s, and the stunning next-gen graphics of the Xbox 360 kick the pants off of your pathetic little GameCube. Plus, he’s got pizza rolls and his Mom says you can even invite some of the girls over if you want. Dylan’s place becomes the designated sleepover spot for the next four years. You never get over it. THE END. Try again?

Lie to convince your friends to stay

“My Mom says I can’t leave the house tonight,” you lie, beginning to sweat through your Old Spice spray-on deodorant. The boys are clearly getting annoyed and you begin to worry they might just leave you behind. Suddenly, Jake chimes in with a suggestion. “Dude, we should just watch The Hangover! You still haven’t seen it, right?” As your friends start quoting the movie back and forth, you’re left with a decision…

DO YOU:

Watch The Hangover

Before you can say a word, Jake pulls a copy of the movie out of his backpack and puts it in your DVD player. You’re still not fully comfortable with R-rated movies, and Max says this one has a ton of butts in it! You pretend to fall asleep and wake up when they find Justin Bartha on the roof. You lie and say it was your favorite part to avoid suspicion. The night eventually winds down. No one minds that they didn’t get to play Melee, but nobody believes that you can actually wavedash. THE END. Try again?

Have an anxiety attack

You feel your face get hot as you burst into tears. Your friends nervously look at one another and ask if they should leave. Things just keep getting worse and worse! It looks like this is the end of your sleepover when suddenly, you hear a noise from upstairs…

“Hey, is this yours?” Your Dad peeks into the basement with your Melee disc in his hands! “I found it in the third disc slot of The Simpsons Season 5 DVD box set. Have you seen that by the way?” You tell your Dad you’ll find it later as you slam the disc into the GameCube. You hastily put Billy Hatcher in the case for Battalion Wars and get to smashing. You use your new wavedashing technique to win every round with Fox except for when Jake was being a dick and spamming with Kirby’s Down-B. You play for hours until it’s time to stop and watch the new episode of Robot Chicken. Everything’s perfect. THE END. Try again?

Listen to the newest episode of our podcast, The Ace Watkins Presidential Hour:

Seth Finkelstein