March 24, 2020 Terrified ‘Hearthstone’ Escapee Not Convinced ‘Slay the Spire’ Won’t Eventually Charge Him $40 for New Cards Terrified ‘Hearthstone’ Escapee Not Convinced ‘Slay the Spire’ Won’t Eventually Charge Him $40 for New Cards ARLINGTON, Texas — Local Hearthstone refugee and Slay the Spire player Jon Burke reportedly can’t shake the feeling that the roguelite card game won’t eventually…
March 23, 2020 Dad Playing ‘Secret Hitler’ Cannot Comprehend That the Liberals Are the Good Guys Dad Playing ‘Secret Hitler’ Cannot Comprehend That the Liberals Are the Good Guys MINEOLA, N.Y. — Tom Castellano was reportedly unable to comprehend that the liberal team were being presented as the good guys in Secret Hitler, after…
March 19, 2020 Grandpa Wishes He Had Used Bathroom Before Having Soul Sealed in Playing Card Grandpa Wishes He Had Used Bathroom Before Having Soul Sealed in Playing Card DOMINO CITY, Japan — After having his soul trapped inside a playing card, local game shop owner Solomon Muto has begun to express his frustration…
March 18, 2020 Therapist and Patient Spend Their First Few Sessions Making Character Sheets Therapist and Patient Spend Their First Few Sessions Making Character Sheets SAN FRANCISCO — Local tabletop gamer and new therapy patient Elliot Booker spent his first three sessions with Dr. Elijah Loudermilk adding his base stats,…
March 16, 2020 Level 16 Warlock Still Can’t Identify a d8 Level 16 Warlock Still Can’t Identify a d8 JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Local gamer Steven Chen reportedly held up a d10 when asked to roll 8d8 necrotic damage, despite playing a level 16 warlock…
March 15, 2020 D&D Player Wears Wire to Game After Friends Insist They Won’t Start a Podcast D&D Player Wears Wire to Game After Friends Insist They Won’t Start a Podcast BROOKLYN — Local Dungeon Master Brian Goldberg’s most recent Dungeons and Dragons session ended in controversy yesterday, after the 26-year-old was caught wearing a wire…
March 14, 2020 No One Wants To Play Your Weird German Game About Trains, Dude No One Wants To Play Your Weird German Game About Trains, Dude AUSTIN, Texas — Breaking reports from your irate friends indicate that no one has any interest in learning that weird German train game you brought…
March 12, 2020 Magic Player Has Disgusting Pack-a-Day Habit Magic Player Has Disgusting Pack-a-Day Habit BEAVERTON, Ore. — Friends and family of Magic: The Gathering enthusiast Gabe Roberts have said that the once-casual player has now become a full blown…
March 11, 2020 Dungeon Master Finally Writes Perfect Campaign, Distributes Scripts to Players Dungeon Master Finally Writes Perfect Campaign, Distributes Scripts to Players COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Dungeon Master Daniel Hyde recently finished writing his ideal D&D campaign and released the final draft of its script to his…
