Tabletop Games

Amazon Acquires Hasbro to Become Exclusive Seller of Monopoly

SEATTLE — In a move widely expected by the industry, Amazon has acquired the board game giant Hasbro with the…

7 years ago

True Neutral Woman Considers Herself Chaotic Good

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local roleplaying enthusiast Susan Warburton, confirmed to be “true neutral” on the alignment chart by close friends…

7 years ago

Recently Divorced Man Flicks Metaphorical Cigarette into Gasoline by Buying Magic the Gathering Starter Pack

NANTICOKE, Pa. — After going through an arduous divorce, horrified witnesses reported that local resident Andrew Stone said “fuck it”…

7 years ago

Man Drops Thousands of Dollars on Vast Collection of Long, White Boxes

SAGINAW, Mich. — Local collector, Travis O’Donnell, achieved a personal milestone at Devastator Comics yesterday after spending his ten thousandth…

7 years ago

Study Finds 100% Correlation Between Winning Board Games and Irresistible Sex Appeal

DENVER — Scientists have announced the discovery of a clear, 100% correlation between the stunning board game skill of sophomore…

7 years ago

Guy Who Bitched for Five Straight Hours Wins Board Game at Last Second

BOSTON —  After five brutal hours of incessant, imaginative bitching, the well-documented hater of “fruity-ass board games,” Sam Daniels, secured…

7 years ago

Stranger Things Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Having Enough Friends to Play D&D

Stranger Things is known for its massively talented young actors and nostalgic 1980s Spielberg-esque horror vibes. It features telekinetic children,…

7 years ago

Only Objective of Complicated Board Game is Accurately Setting It Up

INDIANAPOLIS — The Cyclopean Cycle, a board game so convoluted that players win by merely assembling it correctly, has become one…

7 years ago

Dungeon Master’s Campaign Clearly Allegory for His Recent Break Up

PHOENIX — Dave Reynolds, Dungeon Master & Assistant Deli Manager, recently endured the end of his first major relationship and…

7 years ago