June 23, 2021 Vampire Requests Invite to Open Xbox Live Party Vampire Requests Invite to Open Xbox Live Party FORKS, Wash. — Local vampiric gamer FaNg DaNKula was seen requesting an invite to an open Xbox Live Party in order to join it, as…
June 23, 2021 Rich People Greenlight 14 New Shows About Poor People Rich People Greenlight 14 New Shows About Poor People LOS ANGELES — The wealthy owners of the most popular television networks and streaming services have previewed their fall slate of new shows, and among…
June 23, 2021 Broken PC Transforms Hardcore Gamer Into Just a Normal Run-of-the-Mill Bigot Broken PC Transforms Hardcore Gamer Into Just a Normal Run-of-the-Mill Bigot ANN ARBOR, Mich. — While saving up to repair his broken gaming PC, local man Josh Quell underwent a transformation from an elite gamer into…
June 22, 2021 Danny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email Address Danny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email Address LAS VEGAS — Master heist organizer Danny Ocean has reportedly gathered a team of top criminals, acrobats, and smooth talkers in an attempt to break…
June 21, 2021 Man Rereading ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ to Prepare for Release of Book 6 Worried His One-Page-a-Day Pace Too Fast Man Rereading ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ to Prepare for Release of Book 6 Worried His One-Page-a-Day Pace Too Fast ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local fantasy fan Geoffrey Parsons is reportedly worried that his A Song of Ice and Fire reread, in which he reads one…
June 18, 2021 Sony Calls Emergency Meeting With Redditor u/LastofUs1296 After Callout Post Sony Calls Emergency Meeting With Redditor u/LastofUs1296 After Callout Post SAN MATEO, Calif. — Sony Interactive Entertainment scheduled an emergency meeting between their board of directors and u/LastofUs1296, an industry analyst who called out the…
June 18, 2021 Breath of the Wild 2 Trailer Pleases Fans for Nearly a Whole Afternoon Breath of the Wild 2 Trailer Pleases Fans for Nearly a Whole Afternoon KYOTO, Japan — The recent premiere of footage from the highly anticipated Breath of the Wild 2 entry in the Legend of Zelda series reportedly…
June 17, 2021 Sonic’s Therapist Asks If He’s Ever Considered Slowing Down Sonic’s Therapist Asks If He’s Ever Considered Slowing Down METROPOLIS ZONE — Sonic the Hedgehog has been asked to look inward and understand his deepest and most firmly held beliefs, according to sources who…
June 16, 2021 Nerf CEO Pleads With Gamers to Stop Associating His Company With Weakness Nerf CEO Pleads With Gamers to Stop Associating His Company With Weakness PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner released a video today pleading with gamers to stop using the word “nerf” to refer to when weapons…
