August 13, 2017 Read George RR Martin’s Beautiful 800-Page Apology for the Sixth ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ Book Delay Read George RR Martin’s Beautiful 800-Page Apology for the Sixth ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ Book Delay Get excited for some brand new A Song of Ice and Fire content! George RR Martin might not have released any new chapters from The…
August 12, 2017 Reclusive Arcade Gaming Legend AAA Returns to Face Rival ASS Reclusive Arcade Gaming Legend AAA Returns to Face Rival ASS NEW YORK — After years out of the limelight, mysterious gaming legend AAA finally plans to face his rival ASS in an epic showdown fans…
August 11, 2017 Kinky Cartridge Loves When You Spit in Its Mouth Kinky Cartridge Loves When You Spit in Its Mouth GLEN ROCK, N.J. — Alan Burton was shocked to find that his copy of Bad Dudes for the NES would only work when you spit…
August 10, 2017 World Trembles as North Korea Hits 25 Kill Streak World Trembles as North Korea Hits 25 Kill Streak PYONGYANG, N.K. — Kim Jong-Un alarmed world leaders today after getting a 25 person kill streak, signifying his ability to launch a tactical nuke. Experts…
August 9, 2017 Star Wars Battlefront 2 Announces Jar Jar Binks as Killable Character Star Wars Battlefront 2 Announces Jar Jar Binks as Killable Character EA Games and DICE have announced that those who pre-order the highly anticipated Star Wars Battlefront 2 will receive the ability to execute the famously…
August 8, 2017 World Champion Hearthstone Player Defeated by IBM’s Super-Powered Random Number Generator World Champion Hearthstone Player Defeated by IBM’s Super-Powered Random Number Generator LAS VEGAS — Reigning Hearthstone champion Pavel Beltukov lost a face off against IBM’s super-powered hearthstone-playing random number generator today, in what is being called…
August 7, 2017 MMA Fighters Spend First Round Figuring out Their Moves MMA Fighters Spend First Round Figuring out Their Moves NEWARK, N.J. — A match-up on the undercard of last night’s Mayhem at the Metro event began unusually, as both fighters spent the first found…
August 6, 2017 Bran Stark Looks Into Future, Spoils Game of Thrones For Himself Bran Stark Looks Into Future, Spoils Game of Thrones For Himself WINTERFELL — Noted greenseer Brandon Stark leaked the future of his family’s story to himself much to his own dismay on Saturday night. Bran Stark,…
August 6, 2017 Mega Man Forced to Absorb Power of Squirrel He Ran Over Mega Man Forced to Absorb Power of Squirrel He Ran Over RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — Mega Man was interrupted during routine weekend errands when his van hit and killed a squirrel that had wandered into the parking…
