February 26, 2021 Mortal Kombat Fan Pissed Robocop Isn’t in the Movie Mortal Kombat Fan Pissed Robocop Isn’t in the Movie APACHE JUNCTION, Ariz. â A self proclaimed superfan of the Mortal Kombat video game series was reportedly livid after discovering that the upcoming film adaptation…
February 25, 2021 ‘I Hunger for More Movies’ Bellows Minotaur Living Beneath Netflix Headquarters ‘I Hunger for More Movies’ Bellows Minotaur Living Beneath Netflix Headquarters LOS GATOS, Calif. â The grotesque monster living under Netflix cried out in hunger this morning, desperate for more mid-budget features from the streaming platform.…
February 24, 2021 Sonic the Hedgehog Found Crushed to Death Inside Vegas Slot Machine Sonic the Hedgehog Found Crushed to Death Inside Vegas Slot Machine LAS VEGAS â Tragedy struck at the Bellagio Hotel & Casino today, as the squished and dismembered carcass of beloved cultural icon Sonic the Hedgehog…
February 22, 2021 Fast & Furious Franchise Announces Partnership With Olive Garden Fast & Furious Franchise Announces Partnership With Olive Garden LOS ANGELES â Restaurant chain Olive Garden has teamed up with the Fast & Furious franchise to promote the importance of âfamilyâ as a concept.…
February 20, 2021 Sony Advises Gamers Against Cracking Apart PS5 Like Delicious Pistachio Sony Advises Gamers Against Cracking Apart PS5 Like Delicious Pistachio TOKYO â In an effort to prevent damage to their products, the game publisher and console manufacturer Sony urged customers not to pull apart the…
February 19, 2021 Mars Rover Immediately Fills All Inventory Slots With Ferrite Dust Mars Rover Immediately Fills All Inventory Slots With Ferrite Dust PASADENA, Calif. â Mars rover Perseverance has already been filled to the brim with ferrite dust, engineers announced this morning. âWe kinda just aimed the…
February 19, 2021 Director of Upcoming Game âShoot JFK in the Fucking Headâ Insists It Wonât Be Political in Nature Director of Upcoming Game âShoot JFK in the Fucking Headâ Insists It Wonât Be Political in Nature LOS ANGELES â The director of an upcoming first person shooter set in Dallas during the 1960s, Shoot JFK in the Fucking Head, has insisted…
February 18, 2021 Initial Probe of Mars Surface Reveals no New Information on Metroid Prime 4 Initial Probe of Mars Surface Reveals no New Information on Metroid Prime 4 WASHINGTON â NASAâs Perseverance rover has landed on Mars and reportedly discovered no new information about Nintendoâs upcoming video game, Metroid Prime 4. âOh man,…
February 17, 2021 Fans Rage After Learning Post Maloneâs PokĂ©mon Concert Won’t Contain All His Songs Fans Rage After Learning Post Maloneâs PokĂ©mon Concert Won’t Contain All His Songs REDMOND, Wash. â The PokĂ©mon Company has stirred controversy after revealing the upcoming concert celebrating the franchiseâs 25th Anniversary will not contain every song Post…
