March 9, 2021 America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose WASHINGTON — As the infection rates and death counts throughout the nation continue to slowly creep upwards, citizens throughout the United States have begun to…
March 7, 2021 We Rank The Two Shirts You Wore During 2020 We Rank The Two Shirts You Wore During 2020 From the non-stop wildfires in Australia to the garbage fires in Cyberpunk 2077, 2020 will go down as one of the worst years in recent…
March 6, 2021 Former Cards Against Humanity Writer Keeps Pitching ‘Cum Goblin’ to Wizards of the Coast Former Cards Against Humanity Writer Keeps Pitching ‘Cum Goblin’ to Wizards of the Coast RENTON, Wash. — Former Cards Against Humanity writer Marc Weaver has reportedly frustrated his new coworkers at Magic: the Gathering after repeatedly pitching his idea…
March 5, 2021 Report: PS3 Box Okay to Throw Out Report: PS3 Box Okay to Throw Out YOUR HOUSE — A new report commissioned by Sony states that the PS3 box you’ve been keeping in your closet since 2007, right next to…
March 4, 2021 Man Who Spent 270 Hours Playing Xenoblade Series Relieved it Meant Something Man Who Spent 270 Hours Playing Xenoblade Series Relieved it Meant Something WANTAGH, N.Y. — Local gamer Lawrence Olson has reportedly breathed a sigh of relief following the announcement that the next Super Smash Bros. Ultimate DLC…
March 2, 2021 Cash-Strapped Dave & Buster’s to Auction Off Dave Cash-Strapped Dave & Buster’s to Auction Off Dave DALLAS — Amidst growing uncertainty and financial stress due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the cash-strapped restaurant and video arcade establishment Dave & Buster’s announced their…
March 1, 2021 Nintendo Celebrates Metroid’s 35th Anniversary With 30-Minute Moment of Silence Nintendo Celebrates Metroid’s 35th Anniversary With 30-Minute Moment of Silence KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo acknowledged the 35th anniversary of its beloved Metroid franchise with a new Direct presentation that featured just 30 minutes of silence.…
February 28, 2021 Archaeologists Uncover First Recorded Tier List in Ancient Rome Archaeologists Uncover First Recorded Tier List in Ancient Rome ROME — After reconstructing an ancient piece of pottery featuring various Roman gladiators categorized by their perceived strength, ability, and matchup spread, a team of…
February 27, 2021 Dungeons & Dragons Film Stalled After Chris Pine Chooses Charisma as Dump Stat Dungeons & Dragons Film Stalled After Chris Pine Chooses Charisma as Dump Stat LOS ANGELES — Paramount’s troubled Dungeons & Dragons adaptation hit yet another roadblock today after lead Chris Pine chose Charisma as his dump stat during…
