April 9, 2021 Local Basketball Coach Arrested After Feeding Opposing Star Player Chocolate Local Basketball Coach Arrested After Feeding Opposing Star Player Chocolate FERNFIELD, Wash. — Stephen Cobbs, coach of the Spokane Warriors junior high basketball team, has been arrested after killing Fernfield Timberwolves’ star player, Air ‘Buddy’…
April 8, 2021 ‘Call of Duty’ Color Blind Mode Excuses You From Duty ‘Call of Duty’ Color Blind Mode Excuses You From Duty SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Activision has spurred a recent controversy in the gaming community with a patch for Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War,…
April 8, 2021 The Top 10 Comments on Hard Drive Articles This Week The Top 10 Comments on Hard Drive Articles This Week CAUTION: This column features comments, and commentary that joke at the expense of Elon Musk. If you are sensitive to mockery of Elon Musk, turn…
April 7, 2021 Guy Who Threw Away Box Without Looking Can’t Believe PS5 Didn’t Come With Power Cable Guy Who Threw Away Box Without Looking Can’t Believe PS5 Didn’t Come With Power Cable NEW YORK — Scoffing at the disappointing contents of the package he’d just paid $500 for, local man Tyler Lopresti, who just moments ago threw…
April 5, 2021 Here Are All the Porns Coming To Pornhub This Weekend Here Are All the Porns Coming To Pornhub This Weekend Well, it looks like we’ll be jackin our knobs and flicking our vaginas once again this weekend! Here’s everything you need to know about what’s…
April 4, 2021 Pope Francis to Hold 2021 Easter Vigil in Fortnite Pope Francis to Hold 2021 Easter Vigil in Fortnite VATICAN CITY — A spokesman from the Vatican announced today that Pope Francis would be holding this today’s Easter Vigil Mass exclusively in the video…
April 3, 2021 20 Things in WandaVision That Could’ve Been Mephisto 20 Things in WandaVision That Could’ve Been Mephisto One of the most popular theories about WandaVision was that it was all being controlled by Mephisto, an extra-dimensional being who basically serves as Marvel’s…
April 2, 2021 Embarrassed Ridley Assures Smash Player He’s Much Bigger Canonically Embarrassed Ridley Assures Smash Player He’s Much Bigger Canonically SCHENECTADY, N.Y. — Dragon-like space pirate and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate fighter Ridley assured a teary-eyed man controlling his moves at a local tournament today…
April 1, 2021 Unhinged Zack Snyder Releases Four Hour Cut of Tenet Unhinged Zack Snyder Releases Four Hour Cut of Tenet LOS ANGELES — Following the long awaited release of his highly anticipated extended cut of Justice League, a hubristic Zack Snyder has now released an…
The Top 10 Comments on Hard Drive Articles This Week
CAUTION: This column features comments, and commentary that joke at the expense of Elon Musk. If you are sensitive to mockery of Elon Musk, turn…