Entertainment

Anthony Davis Evolves After Being Traded

LOS ANGELES — In a rare sporting event, NBA All-Star Anthony Davis has evolved into Anthochamp Davis this afternoon, after…

5 years ago

Pizza Guy Who Hasn’t Been Asked to Chuck Pie in the Sewer for a While Starting to Worry About the Ninja Turtles

NEW YORK —  Long time Domino’s delivery driver Antonio Esposito is reportedly concerned over the wellbeing of the Teenage Mutant…

5 years ago

Vince McMahon Breaks ‘No Blood’ Rule to Count Saudi Money

SAUDI ARABIA — World Wrestling Entertainment CEO Vince McMahon has made a rare exception to the rule banning blood from…

5 years ago

Disappointed Andy Serkis Unwraps Yet Another Mo-Cap Suit For Birthday

LONDON — A melancholy Andy Serkis was seen opening another gift containing a motion capture suit during his 55th birthday…

5 years ago

Here are the 48 Best Times to Take Bathroom Break During ‘Dark Phoenix’

With a 114-minute running time and questionable buzz in advance of its release, you might be wondering whether you’ll have…

5 years ago

‘Magic: The Gathering’ Anime to Be 12 Episodes of Nobody Having Enough Lands to Do Anything

LOS ANGELES — Following the announcement of a new Magic: The Gathering animated series to release on Netflix, directors Joe…

5 years ago

40-Year-Old Asthmatic IT Analyst Explains Exactly How He Would Take Down Active Shooter in the Office

ATLANTA — Dale Clarke, a middle-aged computer tech with early onset arthritis, went into explicit detail with his coworkers about…

5 years ago

Dozens of Teenage Bodies Still Litter Nickelodeon’s Aggro Crag

ORLANDO, Fla. — Several recent rallies have drawn attention to the number of deserted bodies reportedly still on the Aggro…

5 years ago

Justin Roiland Releases New Insufferable Fanbase

LOS ANGELES — Rick and Morty co-creator Justin Roiland, partnering with his development company Squanch Games, released a new frustratingly…

5 years ago