Steven Porfiri

Psychiatrist Asks Streamer If Chat Is in the Room Right Now

SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — During a session with a Twitch streamer, psychiatrist Dr. Stephen Gibbons asked the patient if this…

3 years ago

Sony Advises Gamers Against Cracking Apart PS5 Like Delicious Pistachio

TOKYO — In an effort to prevent damage to their products, the game publisher and console manufacturer Sony urged customers…

4 years ago

Man Suffers Through 30 Minutes of Jazz Before Realizing He Just Likes Cowboy Bebop

LOS ANGELES — Local anime fan Jason Dominguez listened to nearly half an hour of a jazz album last Friday…

4 years ago

Lonely Gamer Just Wants Someone to Settle Down and Get Way Too Into Board Games With

MINNEAPOLIS — Lamenting the scarcity of eligible women in online voice chats, Darren McDaniels announced Wednesday that he simply could…

5 years ago

Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor

SANTA CLARITA, Calif. — Pastor Paul Michaels of the Cornerstone Church announced today that he is currently on the verge…

6 years ago

Mainstream Acceptance of Nerd Culture Leaves Thousands of Gatekeepers Unemployed

LOS ANGELES — Recent labor statistics show the number of gatekeeper positions available in the United States dropped 30% between…

7 years ago

Infantry Unit Welcomed Home After 500-Year Deployment

MINNEAPOLIS — After spending 500 years on active deployment, the members of the 101st Division of America’s Musketmen were welcomed…

7 years ago

NFL Rookie Trying to Kneel During National Anthem Accidentally Goes Prone

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — In what appeared to be an attempt to show support for his teammates, New York Giants…

7 years ago

Dating Simulator Features Extra-Hard “What Are We?” Mode

PALO ALTO, Calif. — A new dating simulator, University Tales, is making waves by offering a new extra-hard difficulty setting…

7 years ago