Steven Porfiri

Steven Porfiri

Psychiatrist Asks Streamer If Chat Is in the Room Right NowPsychiatrist Asks Streamer If Chat Is in the Room Right Now

Psychiatrist Asks Streamer If Chat Is in the Room Right Now

SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — During a session with a Twitch streamer, psychiatrist Dr. Stephen Gibbons asked the patient if this…

4 years ago
Sony Advises Gamers Against Cracking Apart PS5 Like Delicious PistachioSony Advises Gamers Against Cracking Apart PS5 Like Delicious Pistachio

Sony Advises Gamers Against Cracking Apart PS5 Like Delicious Pistachio

TOKYO — In an effort to prevent damage to their products, the game publisher and console manufacturer Sony urged customers…

4 years ago
Man Suffers Through 30 Minutes of Jazz Before Realizing He Just Likes Cowboy BebopMan Suffers Through 30 Minutes of Jazz Before Realizing He Just Likes Cowboy Bebop

Man Suffers Through 30 Minutes of Jazz Before Realizing He Just Likes Cowboy Bebop

LOS ANGELES — Local anime fan Jason Dominguez listened to nearly half an hour of a jazz album last Friday…

5 years ago
Lonely Gamer Just Wants Someone to Settle Down and Get Way Too Into Board Games WithLonely Gamer Just Wants Someone to Settle Down and Get Way Too Into Board Games With

Lonely Gamer Just Wants Someone to Settle Down and Get Way Too Into Board Games With

MINNEAPOLIS — Lamenting the scarcity of eligible women in online voice chats, Darren McDaniels announced Wednesday that he simply could…

6 years ago
Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite MetaphorYouth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor

Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor

SANTA CLARITA, Calif. — Pastor Paul Michaels of the Cornerstone Church announced today that he is currently on the verge…

7 years ago
Mainstream Acceptance of Nerd Culture Leaves Thousands of Gatekeepers UnemployedMainstream Acceptance of Nerd Culture Leaves Thousands of Gatekeepers Unemployed

Mainstream Acceptance of Nerd Culture Leaves Thousands of Gatekeepers Unemployed

LOS ANGELES — Recent labor statistics show the number of gatekeeper positions available in the United States dropped 30% between…

7 years ago
Infantry Unit Welcomed Home After 500-Year DeploymentInfantry Unit Welcomed Home After 500-Year Deployment

Infantry Unit Welcomed Home After 500-Year Deployment

MINNEAPOLIS — After spending 500 years on active deployment, the members of the 101st Division of America’s Musketmen were welcomed…

7 years ago
NFL Rookie Trying to Kneel During National Anthem Accidentally Goes ProneNFL Rookie Trying to Kneel During National Anthem Accidentally Goes Prone

NFL Rookie Trying to Kneel During National Anthem Accidentally Goes Prone

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — In what appeared to be an attempt to show support for his teammates, New York Giants…

8 years ago
Dating Simulator Features Extra-Hard “What Are We?” ModeDating Simulator Features Extra-Hard “What Are We?” Mode

Dating Simulator Features Extra-Hard “What Are We?” Mode

PALO ALTO, Calif. — A new dating simulator, University Tales, is making waves by offering a new extra-hard difficulty setting…

8 years ago