July 17, 2021 Psychiatrist Asks Streamer If Chat Is in the Room Right Now Psychiatrist Asks Streamer If Chat Is in the Room Right Now SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — During a session with a Twitch streamer, psychiatrist Dr. Stephen Gibbons asked the patient if this nebulous “Chat” was present in…
February 20, 2021 Sony Advises Gamers Against Cracking Apart PS5 Like Delicious Pistachio Sony Advises Gamers Against Cracking Apart PS5 Like Delicious Pistachio TOKYO — In an effort to prevent damage to their products, the game publisher and console manufacturer Sony urged customers not to pull apart the…
July 11, 2020 Man Suffers Through 30 Minutes of Jazz Before Realizing He Just Likes Cowboy Bebop Man Suffers Through 30 Minutes of Jazz Before Realizing He Just Likes Cowboy Bebop LOS ANGELES — Local anime fan Jason Dominguez listened to nearly half an hour of a jazz album last Friday at a record store before…
August 11, 2019 Lonely Gamer Just Wants Someone to Settle Down and Get Way Too Into Board Games With Lonely Gamer Just Wants Someone to Settle Down and Get Way Too Into Board Games With MINNEAPOLIS — Lamenting the scarcity of eligible women in online voice chats, Darren McDaniels announced Wednesday that he simply could not wait to find a…
September 17, 2018 Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor SANTA CLARITA, Calif. — Pastor Paul Michaels of the Cornerstone Church announced today that he is currently on the verge of figuring out a solid…
April 5, 2018 Mainstream Acceptance of Nerd Culture Leaves Thousands of Gatekeepers Unemployed Mainstream Acceptance of Nerd Culture Leaves Thousands of Gatekeepers Unemployed LOS ANGELES — Recent labor statistics show the number of gatekeeper positions available in the United States dropped 30% between 2016 and 2017, and is…
January 31, 2018 Infantry Unit Welcomed Home After 500-Year Deployment Infantry Unit Welcomed Home After 500-Year Deployment MINNEAPOLIS — After spending 500 years on active deployment, the members of the 101st Division of America’s Musketmen were welcomed home by their families late…
November 5, 2017 NFL Rookie Trying to Kneel During National Anthem Accidentally Goes Prone NFL Rookie Trying to Kneel During National Anthem Accidentally Goes Prone EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — In what appeared to be an attempt to show support for his teammates, New York Giants rookie running back Aaron Brockfeld…
October 10, 2017 Dating Simulator Features Extra-Hard “What Are We?” Mode Dating Simulator Features Extra-Hard “What Are We?” Mode PALO ALTO, Calif. — A new dating simulator, University Tales, is making waves by offering a new extra-hard difficulty setting called “What Are We?” Mode.…
