Peter Casciato

Gamer Doubles Back While Exploring Dungeon to Make Sure He’s on the Wrong Path

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local gamer Dominick Parra doubled back through a video game dungeon to make sure he wasn’t accidentally…

3 years ago

Uncle Slapping Nephew on Back Accidentally Assassinates Him

PEEKSKILL, N.Y. — A family reunion turned tragic this afternoon after local  truck driver and uncle Chris Meech accidently assassinated…

3 years ago

Guy Who Brought Switch to Rooftop Party Disappointed Everybody Just Doing Coke Off It

BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Gamer Brian Kology was disappointed after his attempt at livening up a rooftop party by bringing his…

4 years ago

Grandma Playing Super Mario 64 Can’t Get Past Part Where You Endlessly Pull Mario’s Cute Little Cheeks

PEEKSKILL, N.Y. — Local grandma Meredith Blum has been stuck for two days on the opening screen of Super Mario…

4 years ago

Report Reveals U.S. Military Spent 1.5 Trillion on Outdated and Dangerous ROFLcopters

WASHINGTON — A shocking new investigation into U.S. military spending has revealed that the Pentagon is still pouring billions of…

4 years ago

Hasbro Announces Monopoly: Monopoly Edition

PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Hasbro announced the next installment of the beloved board game Monopoly with the commemorative Monopoly: Monopoly Edition.…

4 years ago

Anonymous Hacks Into Government Database After Forgetting Own Password

UNKNOWN — The hacker collective known as Anonymous has hacked into a government database in order to retrieve the passwords…

4 years ago

Green Koopa Sneakily Paints Shell Red So He Doesn’t Have to March to His Death

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — In an attempt to save himself from certain death by walking directly off a platform, a local…

5 years ago

Woman Worried to Find Room Full of Ammo and Health Before Performance Review

LANSING, Mich. — Due to her familiarity with the visual indicators that a major boss battle was about to unfold,…

5 years ago