Patrick Coyne

Military Drone Pilot Gives Trump Unplugged Controller to Play With

WASHINGTON — Military drone pilot 1st Lt. Juan Herrera was ordered by White House Chief of Staff John Kelly to…

7 years ago

Where Are They Now? The Child Banished to Hell at the End of the Crossfire Commercial

FIFTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Every '90s kid remembers the classic commercial for the board game Crossfire: Two leather-clad children…

7 years ago

I Quit My Day Job to Spend Two Years Coding My Dream Game! It Fucking Sucks, Please Help

  Just two years ago, I was stuck in a 40 hour-a-week, 100K-a-year job with amazing health benefits. Sure, it…

7 years ago

Haunted GameStop Found to be Built Atop Ancient Atari E.T. Game Burial Grounds

ALAMOGORDO, N.M. — A recently opened GameStop experiencing a rash of paranormal phenomena was discovered to be built atop the…

7 years ago

Woman Checking in on Sims for First Time in 7 Years Horrified to Learn They’ve Gotten Really Into Right-Wing Extremism

BEAUFORT, S.C.— Shantal Addams was shocked to find that several characters she created in the video game The Sims had…

7 years ago

Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him

WIDOWBRIAR — Video game protagonist Danaes has reportedly assured final boss the Hollowsplicer, Scourge of Xissan, that the many side quests…

7 years ago

The Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run Record

WASHINGTON — Newly hired White House Communications Director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was fired by President Trump today, after only…

7 years ago