Patrick Coyne

Patrick Coyne

Military Drone Pilot Gives Trump Unplugged Controller to Play WithMilitary Drone Pilot Gives Trump Unplugged Controller to Play With

Military Drone Pilot Gives Trump Unplugged Controller to Play With

WASHINGTON — Military drone pilot 1st Lt. Juan Herrera was ordered by White House Chief of Staff John Kelly to…

8 years ago
Where Are They Now? The Child Banished to Hell at the End of the Crossfire CommercialWhere Are They Now? The Child Banished to Hell at the End of the Crossfire Commercial

Where Are They Now? The Child Banished to Hell at the End of the Crossfire Commercial

FIFTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Every '90s kid remembers the classic commercial for the board game Crossfire: Two leather-clad children…

8 years ago
I Quit My Day Job to Spend Two Years Coding My Dream Game! It Fucking Sucks, Please HelpI Quit My Day Job to Spend Two Years Coding My Dream Game! It Fucking Sucks, Please Help

I Quit My Day Job to Spend Two Years Coding My Dream Game! It Fucking Sucks, Please Help

  Just two years ago, I was stuck in a 40 hour-a-week, 100K-a-year job with amazing health benefits. Sure, it…

8 years ago
Haunted GameStop Found to be Built Atop Ancient Atari E.T. Game Burial GroundsHaunted GameStop Found to be Built Atop Ancient Atari E.T. Game Burial Grounds

Haunted GameStop Found to be Built Atop Ancient Atari E.T. Game Burial Grounds

ALAMOGORDO, N.M. — A recently opened GameStop experiencing a rash of paranormal phenomena was discovered to be built atop the…

8 years ago
Woman Checking in on Sims for First Time in 7 Years Horrified to Learn They’ve Gotten Really Into Right-Wing ExtremismWoman Checking in on Sims for First Time in 7 Years Horrified to Learn They’ve Gotten Really Into Right-Wing Extremism

Woman Checking in on Sims for First Time in 7 Years Horrified to Learn They’ve Gotten Really Into Right-Wing Extremism

BEAUFORT, S.C.— Shantal Addams was shocked to find that several characters she created in the video game The Sims had…

8 years ago
Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to HimMain Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him

Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him

WIDOWBRIAR — Video game protagonist Danaes has reportedly assured final boss the Hollowsplicer, Scourge of Xissan, that the many side quests…

8 years ago
The Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run RecordThe Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run Record

The Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run Record

WASHINGTON — Newly hired White House Communications Director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was fired by President Trump today, after only…

8 years ago