March 25, 2020 If Sonic Water Levels Gave You Lifelong Anxiety, You May Be Entitled to Compensation If Sonic Water Levels Gave You Lifelong Anxiety, You May Be Entitled to Compensation Thousands of gamers across the world are providing testimonials accusing Sonic The Hedgehog water levels of giving them lifelong anxiety in a landmark civil suit…
February 24, 2020 Chain Smoking BioShock Devs Trying to Think of Weird Place a City Could Be Chain Smoking BioShock Devs Trying to Think of Weird Place a City Could Be SAN FRANCISCO — With only a week left before their deadline, a group of stressed, chain-smoking developers of the new BioShock are holed up in…
January 23, 2020 XCOM Player Doesn’t Trust 90% OkCupid Match XCOM Player Doesn’t Trust 90% OkCupid Match TUCSON, Ariz. — Local XCOM player Chris Sweeten was not totally prepared to trust a 90% match with a girl on OkCupid, sources confirmed earlier…
January 21, 2020 Marvel’s New Trans Superhero Will Be Completely Invisible at All Times Marvel’s New Trans Superhero Will Be Completely Invisible at All Times LOS ANGELES — In a first for the multi-million dollar media franchise, president of Marvel Studios Kevin Feige has confirmed during a press conference that…
January 16, 2020 Gamer Wishes There Was Some Way to Play FFVII Right Now Gamer Wishes There Was Some Way to Play FFVII Right Now SANTA FE, N.M. — Blindsided by the delay of its upcoming remake, Square Enix fan Derick Stanley tells reporters he would give anything to play…
January 15, 2020 75% of Seniors Report Most Trusted Source of Information is Quotes Over Pictures of Sam Elliott 75% of Seniors Report Most Trusted Source of Information is Quotes Over Pictures of Sam Elliott WASHINGTON — Scientifically confirming a correlation that has been speculated for decades, a recent study by the Pew Research Center has revealed that a majority…
January 10, 2020 Speedrunning Community Split Over Whether a Glitchless ‘Fallout: New Vegas’ Run is Even Possible Speedrunning Community Split Over Whether a Glitchless ‘Fallout: New Vegas’ Run is Even Possible SAN JOSE, Calif. — Members of the Fallout: New Vegas speedrunning community are locked in a contentious debate over the plausibility of a truly glitchless…
December 31, 2019 Anime Fan Transfers to New University After Accidentally Calling Professor ‘Nee-San’ Anime Fan Transfers to New University After Accidentally Calling Professor ‘Nee-San’ SILVER CITY, N.M. — Former Columbia University law student Brendan Stack recently transferred to Western New Mexico University, fleeing the embarrassment of having accidentally called…
December 24, 2019 Man Names Baby After Typo Made in Group Chat Man Names Baby After Typo Made in Group Chat CLOVIS, N.M. — In recognition of a typo made by a friend in a group chat, Kenny Boskins has named his firstborn son Sellular Dada…
